By BEC SPARROW
My first year of marriage was hardly smooth sailing. Really it was more like the Titanic at some points.
Despite the fact we’d lived together first, I still had to get used to my new husband Brad’s completely mental system for doing the laundry (he insists on washing new clothes separately first. It is insane and a waste of water, right? ).
And he had to get used to my methodical and deeply sensible system for stacking the dishwasher (Is it weird I like to group my cutlery? No, I don’t think so either).
And don’t get me started on the ugly African masks he insisted on hanging in our kitchen. Because that’s where you want a creepy mask — IN YOUR KITCHEN FREAKING YOU OUT WHILE YOU EAT YOUR WEET BIX.
Okaaaaaay.
It turns out, this is all very normal and common.
Research released today by Deakin University has finally proven what every married couple may have suspected: the ‘honeymoon period’ is a big fat lie and that the first year of marriage is actually the unhappiest. According to the study:
“The honeymoon period for Australia’s married couples barely extends beyond the bridal waltz, with new research revealing people are least satisfied with life in the first year of marriage.
“The latest Australian Unity Wellbeing Index survey released today finds people married for less than a year have lower levels of wellbeing than people in any other year of marriage.
The research is in….
The telephone survey conducted by the university’s Australian Centre on Quality of Life measured the happiness of 2000 people on a scale of 0-100. People married for less than a year have an average Personal Wellbeing Index (PWI) score of 73.9 while the average score for the Australian population was 75. (Interestingly, couples who had been married for more than 40 years who came in top at 79.8 … this possibly becuase they have worked out how to deal with conflict. Or, they’re deaf.)
But look it’s not all doom and gloom. The good news is that by the second year of marriage, most couples have bounced back and their happiness score jumps to 78.4 … assuming *cough* they stay married long enough to get there.
So should we forget toasters and vases? When it comes to making a gift registry, would newlyweds be better off asking for flak jackets, a voucher for marriage counselling and, oh I don’t know, maybe a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War?
Well, yes and yes according to the report’s lead author Dr Melissa Weinberg who says it’s about being realistic about that first year of, er, wedded bliss.
“Big changes occur in the first year of married life, and not all of them are comfortable for newlyweds. Significant costs can be associated with a new marriage – the cost of the wedding for a start, and potentially the costs involved in purchasing a new house,” Dr Weinberg says.
“The message for newly married couples is to persevere through that first frantic year, and reap the rewards later,’’ she says.
So what do you think? Is there a way to avoid the ‘post-nuptial blues’? If you’re married, what was your first year of marriage really like?
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Comments
76 Comments so far
Work really hard in the second year and build from there!
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I totally agree with this post! I’ve only been married for three years and while the first year was bliss, it’s a major change and can hold a lot of financial stresses. I don’t care what anyone says if it’s meant to be, your relationship will feel different once you get engaged, then again when you move in together, again when you are married and with each addition to your family. An amazing adventure, but the first year is definitely the hardest one. Love this post Bec!
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I disagree. Our first year of marriage was an adventure. We both moved out of home when we married and set up our home together. So many funny situations of ‘interesting-tasting’ meals and learning to mesh our personalities together. It was such an experience for us. 3, soon to be 4 children and 7yrs of marriage and it’s still an adventure.
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My husband is a control freak, just because I think everything I do is the right way doesn’t mean he can change things, we spend moments every day changing the way the blinds are opened. I don’t vacuum as he feels I don’t do it correctly, I wont let him pack the dishwasher.
But I have to say after 40 years we are still in love. I think the big hassle is this idea of a Hollywood romance, and the fact that you will never fight, always gaze into each other’s eyes, I am sorry but how boring!!!!! In our first few years I often had “friends” tell me that we fought too much and wouldn’t it be better if I just gave in, compromised. Well we are still happily together and some of them aren’t.
I won’t say there hasn’t been major upheavals / major disputes and a few times of thinking this is just too much. But I was told by my grandmother never make decisions in anger, so that once we calmed down ( some times this took months) we didn’t want the divorce.
My main point is don’t lose yourself in doing the “right thing” as a wife/husband. Nobody is perfect and you loved this person for some reasons to marry them. Often its dissimilar backgrounds that cause the problems: start your own traditions. My in laws hated the fact that I worked full time and heaven forbid they never saw me in a dress!!!! My father couldn’t cope with the fact my husband did most of the cooking ( he couldn’t handle my burnt messes).
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Our first year of marriage was really fun and exciting! I think the fact that we didnt live together first was the secret. 17 years later, we’ve had a few ups and downs but the biggest lesson I have learned, from watching my own parents especially, is that there are always 2 sides to every story. And I can only be right 50% of the time.
Marriage is give and take. I think many people like it to be take and take and thats why they often dont work.
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I am 9 months into my first year of marriage and I’m blissfully happy. My husband has two children from his first marriage and I have a daughter. We didn’t live together before we married, but we put a lot of effort into preparing our children for our blended family. We have also communicated well and been completeky open with each other from the beginning of our relationship.
Marriage is very important to us and our wedding was wonderful, but our expectations of the day were realistic: it was only one day and it was the beginning of our marriage, not the culmination of all our efforts for a wedding.
Of course, there are many challenges in creating a blended family and there are some significant stresses in our lives, but we are facing them together and that’s what really matters.
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The stats are hardly startling…
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This article seems out of place in Aussie culture where since the 1970′s most couples have been living together first. According to the Australian Bureau of Stats, the majority of couples registering their marriage in 2009 lived together before marriage – 77.4%. With the exception of unforseen emotionally traumatic events happening that would wreak havoc in anyone’s marriage, for the majority of the population, this difficulty in the first year of marriage should not be happening. Maybe the people surveyed had unreal expectations of what marriage would be like following defacto arrangements? Or did Deakin Uni only survey the other 22.6%?
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Yep we are proof of this. We have been together 12 years, living together for 8, and I have found this first year of marriage very difficult. I have also (very unexpectantly) found it to be the most lonely of my life. I don’t think our expectations of each other have changed but everyone around us seems to have changed their expectation- this is something I never anticipated.
Fingers crossed that 2013 is smoother sailing in this house.
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Do you mind me asking what sorts of things have made it so unhappy? My partner have been together a seriously long time and living together for a few years to boot. I can’t imagine why going through with a marriage ceremony would change things so much, but it seems it does alter things. I’m genuinely curious.
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Oh Bec. Are you serious? Here I am, persevering through heartbreak and bad dates and terrible flirting, all in the hope of finding someone lovely who I’ll be blissfully and madly in love with. And NOW you tell me that the first year of marriage is going to be hard too?! I can’t take it! I’M EXHAUSTED!
http://thegoogleyear.blogspot.com.au/
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I agree. Marriage is stressful in the first year. Thanks Bec for posting this.
If you have a moment, could you take a look at this link
http://bit.ly/VoteAbigailVid
and vote at http://www.voteabigail.org
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Why oh why are strapless dresses so popular???
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I always wonder the same thing. They suit about 5% of the population and yet every bride wears them. Why?
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I’ve been married 9 months. This year has been tough but only because my grandparents both died and we miscarried all within a month of each other. In terms of our relationship and being married … Well we lived together first so not much difference there but we are still loving the husband/wife calling.
Having said that my brothers been married just over a year and is having a tough time, but he & his wife rushed a wedding & baby within 2 years of meeting. They hadn’t really lived or had experiences together & are finding they have VERY different ways of doing things …. Where as my husband & I are older, been together 4 years, lived together the whole time & have experienced lots of things together!!
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First year of Marriage? Absolute shite. We miscarried our honey-moon baby 8 weeks after the Wedding. Husband was away at the time. By the time I realised I needed to get to hospital, I was in too much pain to actually call anyone, literally. Hideous.
It was way better after that.
Then spent most of the year surviving a difficult next pregnancy – confined to bed for six months of it.
It was the beginning of year two that the beautiful and perfect Lottie Jnr arrived
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I stack the cutlery in groups too, why wouldn’t you? I have been known to re-arrange other people’s dishwashers.
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My husband and I met when we were barely out of school. I got pregnant after just a few weeks. Yup, it looked like the odds were against us.
Since then we’ve shared so much – our wild early days of partying, being young parents, traveling through Asia with our toddler son, our first jobs, the loss of one child and the birth of two more.
It wasn’t always easy, At times I strayed, I dreamed of my freedom. I didn’t always treat this wonderful, funny, smart man the way I should.
But today we are lovers, partners, a team, best friends. I’ve now been with him longer than I haven’t. We still have dumb fights. Tonight we both came home from work tired and ratty and actually had a fight about the way he was putting the beans in the pot (he wanted to boil them in cold water, I said they should go into boiling water) but then we just looked at each other and laughed.
We’ve been togeth for 26 years now, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
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The first year of my marriage has been wonderful! I have been married for 15 months and have been with my husband for almost 10 years, we are expecting our first child in march – couldn’t be happier!
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Is the first year of marriage really that different after living together first?
This is an honest questions – my fiancee and I have been together 4 years, moved in together three months after we first started dating. I can’t think what would be different about living with him after being married ie. his bad habits would all be the same, things that drive me crazy now will drive me crazy then too etc.
For example, bec said they lived together first, but she had to get used to his way of washing and so on – wouldnt you already have known this before getting married, and it would have annoyed you before hand too?
I’m sure I’ll understand once I’m married since everyone seems to concur – but can someone explain it to me? Do the men just up and start letting out their weirdest behaviour once they get the ring on your finger?
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I think we might subconsciously think that getting married will change something.Also I think the wife already has her ideas of how a husband should be, and the husband has his ideas of what a wife is. And maybe it turns out their spouse isn’t *exactly* what they were expecting/hoping for.
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I agree with Guest. Its about a mental shift and how each others expectations are higher when you are actually married. Also its a really exciting eventful time getting married, but once you have been down the aisle it can be a massive let down. No more excitement (until the baby news comes). It can be tough. Just know that it does settle down and things make sense after about 2 years!!
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I already posted a comment but I just had to add, Melbmum, you are making marriage sound really depressing. If the only exciting thing about getting married was walking down the aisle and then waiting for the baby news, I wouldn’t bother ever getting married. I didn’t walk down the aisle and we don’t have a baby but we still lead a very exciting life and I really hope that never changes.
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Not at all, nothing whatsoever changed after we got married and most people I know said the same thing. I lived with my partner for 4 years before we got married so I already knew all his bad habits, just like he knew mine. I didn’t really understand that part of Bec’s article either, I think maybe she was just trying to illustrate a point, as in it’s something that often happens with couples who haven’t lived together before marriage. It’s not like the man suddenly changes once he puts a ring on your finger and develops all these new bad habits.
We had a simple, no frills wedding, but if you consider your wedding day to be the most exciting thing to happen in your life, then it doesn’t surprise me that you might have problems when it’s all over (when I say you, I don’t mean you personally). As long as you are getting married because you want to spend your life with this person and not because you want to wear a dress and be the centre of attention, you will be fine.
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First year you’re still in the lovey dovey stage – much harder when the kids come along and there’s no time to yourself and one of you always has to be around to do the kid thing. In my 15th year of marriage now – last 5 years have been the hardest!!! Before kids we did what we wanted when we wanted – the shared responsibility isn’t always shared equally and for the kids to come first, you and he have to follow behind. That being said, wouldn’t change my gorgeous 8-year-old for the world! I group the cutlery (and rinse it before it goes in the dishwasher. My husband thinks I’m crazy.)
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2 months into year #3, and I’m tempted to throw in the towel. I’d probably do it, too, if we hadn’t conjugated it with 2 children. “Marry in haste, repent at leisure?”
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A hard place to be in. Have you thought about seeking some outside help to give you a voice? I wish you well and hope you have lots of happiness no matter what you decided to do!!
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Our first year of marriage – I had a new boss… will say no more, undergoing IVF and was turning 40. Turns out that was the lighter side!
I changed jobs and went back to work with my previous boss leading a team I didn’t know. Challenging enough, but turned out to be a godsend. Night before IVF transfer hubby was commiserating a Wallabies loss, fell and broke his back – 8 weeks in hospital flat on his back, but by the end of his first week, I was pregnant with our little man. We thought “wahoo” in 8 weeks, after Rob’s back healed, 2012 is bound to be fabbo. We spent our first anniversary with Rob on his back and me puking up the cafeteria food….but still he managed to buy me a gift in a little blue box. I of course at that time was 2 months, hormonal and was giving him the gift of child!
Little did we know….During his stay in hospital Rob complained of an ear ache – which of course, being male he had actually had since March that year! He was told to check it out on discharge. By this time it was the week before Chrissy and I dragged him kicking and screaming to my GP, who gently suggested we go to the drop-in clinic at RNSH, between Chrissy and New Year.
Three months into our second year of marriage and Rob was diagnosed with tonsil cancer- who the hell gets tonsil cancer I hear you ask! And so began our year of chemo and radiotherapy. I was living in Canberra and Rob in Sydney, which we continued to do, as when Rob was sick from the effects of chemo I could not be around – because of course it kills fast growing cells. I would travel up to Sydney every two weeks – on the good weeks and watched his joy and delight in my growing belly keep him fighting. On Rob’s last day of treatment his lovely brother and wife hopped in the car with him and they traveled down the highway so that he could be there for the birth of our son, Patrick. We were so lucky to have a wonderful obstetrician who was happy to do my c-section, whenever Rob arrived and had time to rest from the drive.
We chose to see the following months as a blessing, as Rob healed and slept, he did so with his son. They spent many hours curled up in bed together. This was the end of May and we then confronted “the after treatment part” – almost more difficult than the medical treatment. Seven days after our 2nd anniversary, and two weeks after Rob was given all clear at 3 months, we lost his father to cancer as well. Rob had been caring for his father for the past few years – not for cancer, but due to his aging years, so the loss was huge. It’s been just over a month.
We are sooooo lucky to have amazing friends and family there to support us, and fabulous employers. While lucky enough to be on leave this year, they are already making my return to work in the new year a smooth transition. Rob’s employers have continuously encouraged him along the way. And then there is the random kindness of people who don’t know us very well at all – we are constantly overwhelmed.
We’ve definitely become stronger as individuals and as a couple. We figure if we’ve survived these first two years – we’ll get through anything. My respect and admiration for him has grown and grown and continues to each day. And then of course there is Patrick – who turns out to be the most laid back, social baby ever! He knew what we needed and provides us with strength and laughter every day.
We found our way through this with humour – often black, black humour. Rob and I often laugh that we should have included “I will love you even when you are down to 64 kilos and hairless with a feeding tube”, and he would love me “covered with baby vomit, unbrushed hair and dealing with raging hormones”.
We know that the year ahead will continue to present us with challenges as Rob continues to heal, I return to work and we begin to clear out his family home. However we see we’re starting a new chapter together, and we’re damn well going to a beach somewhere – doesn’t matter where as long as they bring us cocktails!
But do you know what it is we fight about? He leaves the sponges wet in the sink over night, and yes Angela and Bec, the ugly, ugly things that he’s collected on his travels – what is it with masks? And I apparently leave a trail of hair from one end of the house to the other and leave the tea bag in the cup – apparently that’s gross – teachers just learn to drink tea however you get it!
Bring on our 3rd anniversary, ’cause we’ve made it to the first two!
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Congratulations guys, you should be proud of how far you’ve come. Amazing.
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Thanks! Sometimes we need to stop and remember that.
And as for grouping the cutlery, they tell you that in the instruction manual…but Rob doesn’t need the manual – he likes to wash the dishes by hand!!!!!!!!
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Thanks. Sometimes we need to stop and remember that!
And as for the cutlery, they tell you to group it in the dishwasher instruction manual…but you’d have to read that!!!!
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Ah, I got so emotional reading this!! How lucky your baby is to be born to two such strong and loving people. Wishing you both all the best, and I hope Rob continues to get better. xxx
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If you can survive all of that, you can survive anything!
God bless little Patrick.
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The first year of my marriage was the worst year of my life after being married for 6 months my husband went away for work (army) for 3 months and in that time he had several affairs and refused to speak to me! Instead broke up with me like a child through an email that’s right through and email!!!! FYI I’m 28 we had been together for 5 years and this only happened last year!!
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Seriously S……that is f***ed up. I’m really sorry you were treated like that.
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S, You poor thing.
We are so bombarded these days with soldiers returning home, and given the hero image, that we forget there are some soldiers like this. (Before anyone says I am saying our diggers are not heroes, I am NOT!).
I hope you have or will find a man who respects you.
All the best.
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How are you doing now? Have you seen him since? Have you moved on to greener pastures? That’s a really crappy way to be treated!! Good luck in the future!
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Six years in, and what happened to me about thirty minutes ago is about to threaten my marriage.
Hubby is at his work Christmas Party, and while he is living it up down the Pub, I endured a life threatening situation.
There I was, folding the washing (well it doesn’t fold itself!) When a dirty great big Huntsman crawls off my undies, runs over my hand and proceeds to start tear-assing around my bed like a lunatic.
This should be grounds for divorce!!
The worst bit, I rang him in my fear, situated just around the door frame of the bedroom, so I was far enough away to be safe, but close enough to be able to keep an eye on the spider and make sure it didn’t disappear under my pillow… and he laughed!!!
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Now that is grounds for divorce! Hope he didn’t laugh….
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That is grounds for divorce! Did you do the spider dance? You know the one where you jump up and down and down and slap your head in case the spider jumped up and hid in your hair. I do a special version when I walk into a web, if my husband is around when that happens I scream
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Oh yes, spider dance done. I didn’t hit my head, but even after the spider was off my hand, and I saw it running around the bed, I continued to shake my hand like mad!!!
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My husband hates spiders even more than I do! No hope of rescue here.
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My solution, Vacuum cleaner and then shove half a roll of paper towel in the nozzle, so it can’t escape of course. Then leave for husband to deal.with
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Our first year of marriage was no different to the previous four, and the three since!
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in the 12 months after we got married, we moved countries, built a house, had a baby, had a milestone birthday, and changed careers. What a great year!
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Absolutely agree with this. My first year of married life can pretty much be described as “hellish” even though we had been together for 7 years and co-habitated for most of that time. Our second year was much happier and our third is looking even better.
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Bec I so hear you on the freaky African mask thing. Love it that my husband has travelled far and wide as a war photographer but some of the “treasures” he’s bought back …
I think one of those extra-tall wooden giraffes would spell divorce whatever year of marriage we happened to be enjoying.
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Year one of my first marriage was terrible and it got worse from there.
Year one of my second marriage was great and each year since, has just gotten better and better. I don’t know that I’m doing anything differently, but I do know that marriage is fantastic when you are not married to an insanely jealous and somewhat crazed personality.
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You are making me miss my husband, he left today, off to work away for five days!!
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First year of married life was the best year in what’s been an all-round awesome marriage (sorry to sound smug but boy, did I make the right choice! Hope he did…) We were still young enough to be going out and enjoying ourselves but established enough in our careers to do it in style, while unburdened with a mortgage and kids. At the same time, after the wedding we really started planning our lives together knowing we were in it for good and without any nagging uncertainty. So it was such a wonderful, positive, exciting, “world is your oyster” time.
This has been the hardest year (year 7), mostly because of external factors such as job pressures, issues in the extended family etc. But we’re getting through it and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! The key is to make sure you both have the same goals and are working to the same end.
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I would say it is definitely affected by the wedding you have – our planning was stress free, we didn’t borrow any money to pay for it and it all went perfectly (well not perfectly, it rained, but in our minds nothing could ruin our day!). Meant there was no money issues in the first year of marriage nor was there any “lows” after the wedding that I’ve heard lots of girls have. We were also under no illusion that the wedding was going to drastically change our lives. Hardest year for us has definitely been this year after my husband lost his dad – dealing with his (and my) stress and grief whilst attempting some normality for our two girls has been incredibly trying!
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Bec, I wash my new clothes before I wear them! I always think of all the people who have tried them on before me and all the skin flakes, etc, loitering on them.
Yes – I am insane. Having said that, I also group my cutlery. Very sensible and time saving!
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I wash new clothes to get the chemicals off them – smell them if you don’t believe me. It seems to be worst with kids clothes.
Grouping cutlery though – I try to spread them out as much as possible to avoid like items clumping together and not getting washed properly.
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Yes to washing new clothes – totally agree about the chemicals & other people’s cooties. And a big yes to carefully mixing up the cutlery in the dishwasher – you don’t want your spoons spooning!
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Nope, first year of parenthood was the biggest adjustment period in our relationship. By. Far. Complete game changer.
Good news is that 8 years after child number 3, we’re both still standing and you can hardly even see the scars anymore.
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We actually did have a great first year of marriage. It was pretty smooth sailing. We’d been living together for ages anyway so it wasn’t really any different! We did used to grin like goons at each other though when would say things like ‘my husband/wife and I’. It cracked us up and felt like we were playing ‘grown ups’ or something.
Our hardest year of marriage has probably been this past one – 8th year. Nothing horrible, just very testing the last 12 months. We haven’t figured out how to communicate with each other with a 5 and 3 year old always interrupting and wanting to be heard first. We end up getting cranky at the kids then each other. Working on it though and have had a great last month or so, feeling more supportive and loving toward each other than we have all year.
And Bec, I totally group my cutlery in the dishwasher. Makes putting away so much quicker!
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In my first year of marriage we became already new parents of a babygirl so the stress level and dissatisfaction was probably at its highest.
But we never really concentrated much on ‘the wedding’ so life just went on with all its ups and downs.
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We had a baby 7 months into our first year of marriage. It was hard once the baby came, but we adapted and made it work. We are about to celebrate our second year of marriage this month, then our second baby 2 months after, so I guess we are going to be well and truely tested again.
Marriage can be difficult, but i also think that its what you make of it. We have both learnt a lot of valuable life lessons in the past 2 years.
I love being married, and wouldnt change my husband for the world. I honestly do believe we are going to be married forever, as in the last 2 years we have gone through so much as a couple/family that some people would never go through in a lifetime.
A kiss and a cuddle each night before bed, no matter how happy/sad/angry we are with each other is one of our key rituals.
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The stress of paying off our honeymoon while also buying our first home did make for a tough first year for us. First year after babies are also a challenge!
And just for the record, I also insist on grouping the cutlery together in the dishwasher! Easier to unload!
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Thank you, Renee! I am tempted to start a “People Who Group Cutlery Together” Facebook page ….
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I had never thought of doing that and have been inspired. I now just need to get the husband well trained!
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And I need to get a husband!
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I need a dishwasher…..!!!!
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Simple – get the know the person you intend to marry BEFORE you marry them, talk to each other a LOT and there shouldn’t be too many issues
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When you are married you have your good days and your bad days, your good weeks and your bad weeks, your good months and your bad months, your good years and your bad years. I’ve been married for 9 years and we’ve been together for 15 years altogether. It doesn’t get easier, it doesn’t get harder, it’s just peaks and troughs and peaks and troughs…here’s to the next peak! (my husband recently forgot our wedding anniversary so this week has been a definite trough!)
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Yeah I totally agree with this concept of peaks and troughs!!
During some periods in life though, the troughs may last a bit longer or dip a bit lower than usual – i.e. during periods or loss/death/new transition – like adjusting to a new baby,financial problems, etc.
I have been married 6 years and i think the key for us has been having similar values – commitment to each other and our family, having a simple life and enjoying the small things, and being grateful for everything we have. That gives us direction despite the troughs.
But yes I have to agree the first year of marriage was definately a trough for a while – but then the peak was high!! Just takes time to get another person.
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Firstly, I have to say that I think that the hardest year of marriage is after you’ve had a baby – I really thought my husband was the most selfish/lazy/thoughtless/hopeless/inconsiderate man on the planet at various points during the year after each of my babies were born, but thankfully that time passed.
My first year of marriage was smooth and easy, nothing really changed for us. We were already living together, and then six months after our wedding we moved overseas, and had an amazing adventure together. That’s what I would recommend to anyone in their first year of marriage – plan something exciting together just for yourselves after the wedding, it was great.
And then, hold on and wait for the baby to arrive….
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Me too! I really thought that the article would say that was the hardest year, I thought it was for everybody.
The combination of hormones, not owning your own body, sleepless nights and the fact that you have become a total slave to a little person was really terrible for me and my marriage. Any little differences or niggles you have are really amplified in that high stress low sleep year
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Exactly!
We’ve been married 8 years, together 16, and the first baby year was by far the roughest.
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I’ve noticed we definitely fight more, but when we’re not the loving and tenderness between us and for this new baby pulls us ever-closer.
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For me it was the year to year-and-a-half after our second child was born. God that was tough, tough time.
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I agree – I am currently 4 months into the 2nd child stage. One child is easier because only 1 parent is required but with 2 kids, both of you are occupied so communicating between the two of you is minimal.
I can see why some people divorce after the 2nd child. I am not at that stage but I can see that we need to make more of an effort to relate to each other again.
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Thanks for sharing that Flotsam.
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Sorry to say it Bec but your husband is right. Lots of clothes are treated with formaldehyde to keep them fresh, wrinkle free and free of mildew and insects in transport. Plus washing them gets rid of excess dye. So you don’t want other clothes getting stained with excess dye or affected by the chemicals.
However grouping cutlery makes perfect sense to me.
I watched a heap of my friends have post-wedding blues. I can understand it because you work so hard to prepare everything and look forward to the day, then it is over, forever. I’m not married, but hope to be fairly soon, and I will definitely be planning a new project after the wedding so I don’t fall victim to this.
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Don’t agree with this at all. May have had something to do with the fact that my husband and I secretly eloped and had no stress at our little low key Bahamian wedding. We had no ‘big life changes’ in our first year of marriage and no noticeable change in our relationship at all. We also had a baby this year, which didn’t really affect our relationship either like everyone said it would. I think people need to be more realistic of their expectations going in to a marriage. And actually get married for the marriage, not the wedding.
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“And actually get married for the marriage, not the wedding.”
Great point, if you get married for the wedding, of course your first year of marriage is going to suck. And probably ever year there after.
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