by ERIN SCHLIEBS
If you’re a girl who’s grown up in the western world chances are you just assumed when you “grew up” you’d be able to have a baby. Of course you did, why wouldn’t you?
After my second miscarriage a good friend said to me, “Why don’t they tell us this stuff?”
Well, it’s got a lot to do with the fact that we still don’t talk about things like miscarriages without it feeling surrounded by a cloud of old-world taboo. I am an absolute advocate for positive thinking, but I also respect the merits of educating yourself.
When we’re doing everything in our early twenties to try to not get pregnant, why don’t they tell us that one in five women will experience at least one miscarriage?
Why don’t they tell us that in the public hospital system they’ll let you have three miscarriages before they investigate causes?
Why don’t they tell us that even if it’s before 12 weeks, it still feels like you’ve lost a little part of your soul?
And importantly, who actually is the “they”? It’s us. It’s your friends, your work colleagues and most definitely it’s your family. Scratch the surface and we’ve all been impacted by a miscarriage, either personally or through someone you know and love. We are the people who can be softening the blow by letting each other know that these things happen, and it’s OK.
Miscarriage is not something that anyone wants to experience. Sadly the reality is that you, or your sister, or your friend will have at least one. As disheartening as that thought is, there are so many things we can do to make that journey easier on ourselves and those around us.