The anonymous man wrote into Outline’s ‘Dear F*ck Up’ agony aunt column, sharing his past and asking for writer Brandy Jensen’s advice.
“Until my early 20s, I was abusive toward young women,” he began in the letter published this week.
“Like many other abusers, I was in denial about who I was and what I was doing throughout this period.
“I lied to myself about the consequences of my actions and justified my behaviour with self-pitying excuses.”
The man then went into detail about his “unforgivable” behaviour.
“In relationships, I could be emotionally manipulative,” he explained. “I was prone to fits of jealousy and routinely undermined my partners’ sense of self-worth.”
“When relationships ended, I sometimes launched into vicious bouts of verbal abuse.
“In my senior year, when I was 21, I dated a girl who was 17: four years younger than me, still in high school. I made her life hell.”
He also said that outside of relationships, he would often harass women who weren’t interested, and now recognised he had stalked a close friend he was “obsessed” with for several years.
The man said that after university he finally saw himself “for the monster I was” and has since “worked hard to better myself”.
“I recognise that nothing I did was excusable. Much of it was unforgivable. I deeply regret my actions, and I wish — desperately — that I could erase myself from the lives of the people I’ve hurt.”