By: Cathy Meyer, founder of Divorced Moms
Anyone can be abusive and anyone can be the victim of domestic abuse. It happens regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race or economic background. If you are being abused by your partner it’s important you become empowered enough to leave the relationship.
If you’ve done any research about domestic abuse, especially those who abuse, you’ve learned that most abusers are driven by fear and a need to control those they abuse. An abuser is morbidly insecure about their own value. As a result, to feel superior to or, at the least, as good as others they use domination and exert control over their victims.
Most abusers fear two things, they fear not being lovable and they fear appearing weak. The sad reality is, their anger, swagger, hitting and punching doesn’t make them appear strong, it does the opposite of what they desire and causes them to appear weak.
One thing it does do is create fear in their victim. To alleviate that fear and begin to stand up for themselves it’s important domestic abuse victims be able to recognise strategies abusers use to exert control over them.
Once a victim understands who they are dealing with, a fearful, insecure bully, they will begin to feel more empowered when it comes to exiting the relationship.
Below are eight strategies used by domestic abusers against their victims:
1. The silent treatment.
This is akin to the angry child who takes his toys and goes home, refusing to play because he didn’t get his way. In marital relationships, one spouse can keep another off-guard by giving them the silent treatment.