baby

"Day three is the worst": 47 things no one tells you about bringing a newborn home.

So, you've met your new roommate and they seem pretty cool - welcome to motherhood! 

You've spent a couple if days trying to recover from what felt like a marathon, and suddenly you find your sleep-deprived self in a back-seat-of-the-car situation, ready to leave the hospital.

You're in the carpark. Trying to work out how to use the seat belts on the capsule (you know, to get your newborn baby home in). And you. Can't. Get. It. To. Click. The. F**k. In.

At this point it suddenly occurs to you: You're bringing a live baby home. 

Are you... qualified for this?

Watch: Ever wondered what the world looks like through a baby's eyes? Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia

You immediately feel unequipped and out of your depth, and you haven't left the carpark. Cool!

But, for the love of bagels don't think it's just you. It's completely normal to feel like this.

Zero sleep, remembering how to feed, working out what to do with a new human and hosting overly eager visitors is a hard time (WHY HAS NO ONE BROUGHT FOOD). No matter how many books you read.

So, that's why we asked a bunch of real women what they wish someone had told them before they went home with their new baby.

Because if you're anything like us, you'll hear many new mothers start their conversations like this: "No one ever tells you that..."

Listen: Trying to get pregnant? Here's how to know when you need help. Post continues below.

Tilly.

"Practice with the straps of the car seat first. We were trying to figure it out in the hospital parking lot, on a cold day with a crying newborn. Not fun!"

Laura.

"It’s ok to say no to visitors. You can’t sleep when the baby sleeps if your house is full of people!"

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Chloe.

"Day three is the worst. The baby won’t stop crying, you're crying, your partner (if there) is crying. But it’s okay. You will be fine. You will get through it. And remember... YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY."

Asten.

"Not all newborns sleep all the time."

Merryn.

"For the first four weeks the baby will only sleep ON YOU and you're much better off accommodating this by having shifts of being a baby bed whilst the other person sleeps, rather than trying to force the baby to sleep in a bassinet. 

"Oh, and if your baby will tolerate being worn, do it, because your baby will sleep and you'll have two free hands!"

Sarah.

"Baby boy boners are a thing."

Amy.

"It can take months to get breastfeeding right. It took me two months to be able to do it without a shield. Don’t be disheartened if they don’t latch immediately. I'm so glad I persevered."

Donna.

"I wish someone had told me that babies don’t get themselves off to sleep and that a crying baby isn’t necessarily hungry, but often just tired. 

"I also wish I’d known that there’s a science to the sleep cycle of a baby, and they often need help to get to sleep and staying asleep."

Kristen.

"Unwrap and open all your products and have everything ready to go. Have the nappies out of the box, take the protection foil off creams, etc."

Susan.

"Don’t leave hospital until your milk has come in and feeding is sorted."

Amanda.

"Don’t attempt to implement routine in the first four weeks. Just demand they feed and don’t worry what time of day it is. Routine will come after week six(ish). From someone who worked full time and had so much routine, this was a very difficult concept to grasp."

Diviya.

"Babies snore!"

Becki.

"Breastfeeding is so f**king hard, and there is all this pressure for your baby to return to its birth weight (they lose weight after their fat stores are depleted), but it can take days for your milk to change from colostrum to milk. So you spend weeks worried about whether your baby is thriving."

Ruth.

"It helps to buy the older toddler sibling their own baby doll and nappies etc, so that they can copy with their own baby. My nephew loved this, so I did it with my daughter too."

Jess.

"Point the willy down in the nappy. Otherwise you’ll be changing full clothes every ten minutes. Learnt that the hard way."

Rachael.

"Get a lactation consultant ASAP if you’re struggling."

Julie.

"Babies have projectile poo! Seriously, it can shoot one to two metres!"

Amanda.

"When visitors do come, get them to make the cuppa, bring a meal, etc. They think they just come for a nurse of the bub and that helps you in some ridiculous way... so you can get up and make a cuppa. Also, if it’s a very close relation or friend, say: "Oh, glad you're here! Hold bub, I need a shower."

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Mel.

"Babies can get mastitis."

Bec.

"Hospitals (public) mainly have videos on how to bathe the baby, dress, feed etc rather than face to face so watch them while you're still in hospital so you can ask questions - or you will end up watching YouTube videos like us!"

Karen.

"I wish someone had told me that nobody’s breasts have ever exploded from being so engorged when their milk has come in, and despite how it feels at the time, that you’re highly unlikely to be the first it happens to!"

Melanie.

"That anyone who tells you “sleep when baby sleeps” means well, but can not be trusted for helpful advice. Feel free to disregard further comments!"

Melissa.

"A flannel over the top of the willy in the bath/while you’re getting them changed can stop you getting a face full of wee."

Meg.

"Just concentrate on getting through the nights. Everything seems so much easier and more manageable when the sun is up."

Rebecca.

"Day three is sooooo emotional. Hormones are nuts. I also don’t suggest trying to navigate the Centrelink website on this day. It will undo you."

Chloe.

"Your partner may feel useless if you're breastfeeding (unsure about bottle-fed babies) and like they have no real job. Get them involved with bath and nappy time. My husband felt more included when he had jobs and now those two times are full of giggles and fun with the two of them. Also, reframe it as how they can be useful by helping you - fix your food, drinks, etc."

Renee.

"Your armpits get super itchy when breastfeeding."

Tegan

"If you’re breastfeeding, demand feeding is a lifesaver. Tired? Have the boob. Sad? Have the boob. Need comfort? Have the boob. Hungry? Have the boob!"

Sascha.

"Afterbirth pains - I didn’t even know they were a thing and they get worse with each baby."

Susan.

"If you don’t feel the instant connection with your baby, it’s ok. You are not a bad mum. The love and connection will come."

Kath. 

"You know that book you read when you were pregnant that claimed to have all the answers and had you convinced that you knew exactly what you needed to do to get your baby to feed and sleep well? Yeah, your baby didn’t read that book and doesn’t care what it says. The fact that none of it works isn’t a failure on your part. The person who wrote it made it up to sell books. Follow your instincts and stop ignoring them in favour of bad advice. I wish I had known that."

Hayley. 

"Feeding takes a long time! You might be feeding your baby for an hour before they fall asleep and if they feed every couple of hours, that means you’ll be lucky to get an hour of rest."

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Rebecca.

"You’re doing great. You’ve been with your baby every minute of their life and know them better than anyone else. You’re awesome."

Emma.

"‘Mother’s Thumb’ is a thing. And it’s bloody painful. Make sure you are aware how you hold the baby and your own posture and positions. Especially if you have a little pork chop like my first!"

Kim.

"I wish someone had told me not to tell anyone you have had the baby yet...enjoy that little sacred space."

Clare.

"No one tells you just how many clothes they go through with vomits and wee accidents."

Kara.

"Baby vomit turns yellow even after it’s washed, so keep the laundry sink half full of water and a bit of Napisan so you chuck clothes in as you go for soaking prior to wash. I’ve been know to leave them soaking for a few days before I got to wash."

Maddy.

"You will be petrified to poo... Seems to be one of those postpartum things we just don’t talk about!" 

Lauren.

"If it’s only a tiny bit of vomit, it’s ok to just wipe it with a baby wipe instead of changing the whole outfit."

Rebecca.

"Pack a lunch box or special box of toys for siblings that only comes out when you feed."

Elizabeth.

"You’re going to wake up at least once thinking, “I can hear a baby crying... oh, sh*t, it’s mine!”

Hayley.

"Breastfeeding will make you so hungry and thirsty! Have snacks you can eat with one hand."

Jess.

"White noise is a lifesaver!"

Katie.

"Sometimes what you don't hear enough, is that it's actually so AMAZING! I got so bombarded with everyone telling me how hard my life was going to be after bub came, I spent the entire nine months an anxious wreck.

"And while all the hard stuff is true, the love you feel for your baby truly trumps it all. You might have an absolutely terrible day, and then your baby will do something cute and you will somehow forget all of it."

Donna.

"Breastfeeding dehydrates you, and those haemorrhoids are going to get so much worse if you have to poo tree stumps."

Rebecca.

"Cabbage leaves on sore, swollen breast do help!!"

Hayley.

"Every time you shower you will think you can hear a baby crying!"

Do you have any newborn advice you'd like to add? Share with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: Getty