I’m a regular parent, just like you.
I change poopy nappies, listen to Baby Shark on repeat, watch Bluey even when my kids aren’t around, and I haven’t slept in two years.
There’s just one thing that sets me apart: I’m married to someone of the same sex.
And because of that very tiny, gay detail… I’ve become an expert at dodging inappropriate questions and avoiding uncomfortable conversations I really don’t want to have. Which got me thinking that maybe it’s time we create a ‘Things You Shouldn’t Say To Same-Sex Parents’ List. You know, a kind of communications bible to make life a little bit more enjoyable for every parent at school drop-off.
Meet Sean, the author of this article! Post continues after video.
1. “So which one of you is the real mum?”
I get what you mean when you ask this question, but please stop using the word “real” when referring to my involvement in my children’s lives. “Biological” is the correct term, and lacking a genetic connection to our children doesn’t make us any less of a parent. In fact, genetics doesn’t mean you change more nappies or settle your baby faster. We’re all “real” the moment we choose to raise a tiny human.
2. “Do you play the role of mum or dad?”
Yeah, this is another big no-no. Just because we’re parents, doesn’t mean we fall into the standard male-female gender roles set by decades of stereotypes.
We come to our relationship with different strengths and weaknesses, and those characteristics shape our parenting styles and the division of labour. We’re both dads and there’s nothing wrong with that. No need to pretend to be something we’re not, right?