All I've done for several days now is watch strangers get ready for a music festival I don't fully understand.

I'm so confused about precisely all of it.

For example, is there a theme and why is it slightly cowboy? Do they create new landfill specifically for Coachella outfits, and what do they do when it takes up every square inch of the state of California?

It seems that no one is there for the music, they are only there for the content. And imagine being a normal person constantly in the background of everyone's photoshoots?!

I. Can't. Look. Away.

So given

my

extensive knowledge

the frankly sickening number of hours I've spent on TikTok, here are the biggest moments from the Coachella weekend, recapped.

Timothée Chalamet just had a really nice time.

Timothée Chalamet, who I love unconditionally, had a lovely, wholesome time at Coachella.

He watched Billie Eilish quietly and respectfully.

He wore early 2000s style board shorts that would've been hideous and upsetting on anyone else but somehow made me like him more.

Another video of Timothée Chalamet at #RevolveFestival (via alanaalovee) pic.twitter.com/mP5uvSD7hq

— Timothée Chalamet Updates (@tchalametupdate)

Hedidsmoke a number of cigarettes which, when paired with the board shorts, made him look like a lad butsweetheart you are forgiven.Because the man was just having the time of his life.

At one point, he was spotted kissing Nigerian model and activist Sarah Talabi, who was then approached for comment by Page Six.

"Everyone is asking me if I was kissing Timothée Chalamet at Coachella, and that is a good question," she said.

Pls go on.

"But a great question would be asking our world leaders why the Earth is now losing 1.2 trillion tons of ice each year due to global warming and why climate crisis reform has been completely ineffective. I encourage you to contact your local representatives and ask them that."

Well.

Okay.

Maybe there is an election in Australia right now. And maybe instead of thinking about it, I've been watching people put colourful gems on their faces for no reason? In order to attend a festival where they film it all on their phones? So that the people watching on their phones wish they were there? In person? To also film it on their phones?

Maybe that's what's happening and I'm deeply ashamed.

But also did you kiss that glorious small many/n and was it nice and do you have his number and idk like how did he smell.

There was a fashion misunderstanding.

The influencers at Coachella dressed like this.

Or this.

Or alternatively, as a COVID molecule.