Have you ever found yourself dreading a leisurely activity you had eagerly scheduled days or weeks in advance?
I first caught myself doing this a few years ago when I was traveling home to Turkey. I had excitedly made plans to meet up with some old friends. But to my surprise, as the date approached, I started to feel reluctant and unenthusiastic about these long-awaited reunions.
“I have to go get lunch with my friend,” I’d grouse to others, making it sound like a chore.
Was I an anomaly? Or do other people feel this way too? We increasingly rely on scheduling to organize our lives: phone calls, appointments, dates – and, yes, fun social activities. But can planning leisure activities also start to feel like work, too? Why might they become a source of dread?
As someone who studies consumer behavior and decision-making, I decided to explore this phenomenon with Gabbie Tonietto, a Ph.D. candidate in marketing. With Tonietto leading the investigation (the results would eventually become a part of her dissertation), we conducted a series of studies to see if filling out our calendars – even with fun activities – can have unexpected side effects.
All work, no play?
Across 13 studies, we found that the simple act of scheduling makes otherwise fun tasks feel more like work. It also decreases how much we enjoy them.
For example, in one, we asked participants to imagine grabbing a coffee with a friend. Half of the participants imagined that they planned this gathering a few days in advance and put it on their calendar, while the other half were told that they decided to grab a coffee on the fly. We found that this simple, relaxing activity was associated more with work-like qualities (“obligation,” “effortful,” “work”) when it was scheduled, compared with when it was impromptu.
In several follow-up studies, we found that simply scheduling something fun – like a movie or social outing – felt like work even if it was something you regularly did, was something new or special or when you had nothing else planned for that day.