Picking up my bridal bouquet stays in sharp focus for me, even now, so many years and a whole messy divorce later.
I had chosen a simple cluster of ivory roses, what is often called a 'nosegay' that I could carry in my hand.
It was elegant, but not lavish. I picked it up from our favourite flower shops, the one where he’d bought the flowers for one of our first dates, the flowers he wooed me with, that I adored.
Watch: We share our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
I handed the debit card to the woman behind the register and heard the ominous *beep* that accompanied the news I had heard many times before that month.
The sound that meant our account was overdrawn.
Flustered, I handed her cash to pay for the roses, and left the store frustrated but not surprised.
Money was always tough for him to manage in August. Teachers don’t get paid in June, July, and August, when schools are closed, and he didn’t budget well for those months.
Lots of times, money was tight in August.
But this was just August 4. The beginning of the month. Our wedding day. How could there be no money in the account? No money for my flowers? Really?
I shook off the anger and ran headlong into the rest of my day.
What was I going to do, after all?
He was already off with the best man, getting a haircut, seeing his mother, having brunch and cigars and whatever else. I had some cash to get me through the remainder of the day, and all I had to do was get through a couple of appointments with my mother and my maid of honour and arrive at the venue.
I could not have known that there’d be a few other things to turn the day into a far more chaotic event (my mother wound up at the hospital, and never made it to the ceremony, for instance, but that’s a tale for another story).
What I should have known is that failing to budget, to plan, for something as simple as wedding flowers was a clear indicator of prioritising the day, and the days to come.
He was solely in charge of our finances. I trusted him to do that, to steer the ship. We had chosen a modest wedding venue together, a restored mansion-style home in our city’s historic district.