wellness

"Trust me, you're good enough." A man has shared his 38 life lessons and they're spot on.

On Declan Cashin’s 38th birthday he decided to share his 38 top learnings about the world.

Why should you care about some random dude’s life musings?

Because they are SO bang on. We promise.

Declan is an average Brit who according to his Twitter profile was a BBC journalist and is now a ‘curation lead’ at Twitter (whatever that means).

But his summation on life after 38 years living on this earth is pretty… perfect.

They are as follows:

1. I cut back on drinking. Last year I did an extended Dry January that totally changed my relationship with alcohol. I still drink here and there but not anything approaching as regularly as before. I’d advise anyone in their thirties to give it a try. If you don’t like it, fine. But I’ve found it life changing.

2. Get a therapist if you can. Everyone. Even if you think you don’t need one. Especially if you don’t think you don’t need one.

3. Your friends with kids need your help. Don’t believe them when they insist they have it under control. They’re exhausted. Offer to babysit, insist on it.

4. Getting over my aversion to audiobooks has been revelatory. You end up reading so much more and more regularly than you can imagine.

5. Go to the chiropractor. Even if you don’t think you need to. Especially if you don’t think you need to.

6. Stop avoiding the dentist.

7. My dad died this year. It’s kinda knocked me for a six. I feel completely disorientated. Losing a parent at *any* age is gonna be terrible. Go easy on yourself.

ADVERTISEMENT

8. There’s no such thing as a job for life. Or a career for life for that matter.

9. When you’re offered a new job, always ask for more money than you think is possible. It’s very difficult to get that once you’re in the job.

10. Doing things by yourself is great. The cinema especially.

98 year old Holocaust survivor’s advice for a good life. Post continues after video.

Video by MMC

11. That being said, I still struggle to go to a restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night by myself.

12. Nobody is having as much sex as you think they are.

13. Ok, some people are and it’s ok to envy and admire them for it. But even people you think to be most sexually liberated and self confident have their own stuff. Everyone has their own stuff.

14. Comparing yourself to others is a mental health catastrophe. I still do it. But I try to catch myself doing it now.

15. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to buy my own place. I’m ok with that. Well, not really, but I’m trying to be.

16. Appreciate good bosses. Tell them they’re good bosses.

17. Debt is an absolutely soul destroying problem. It stops you from living your life. I’ve spent most of my thirties tackling and living with personal debt. Credit card debt is especially horrific. 18-24 month 0% interest balance transfer credit cards are your friend, at least temporarily.

18. Seriously those friends and family members of yours that you know have debt problems? Ask them how they’re doing it. Keep asking them.

19. I’m now 38 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever. Not for longer than 2-3 months, and even then I didn’t give it my full heart. I sabotage everything that even comes close to being a relationship. I struggle to go on dates but I’m working on it. I swear. It’s the f*cking work of a lifetime for me and I’m sure it is for others too.

20. New Year’s Eve is always terrible. Go out on December 30 if you must and then spent December 31 doing nothing.

ADVERTISEMENT

21. If you can at all make a plan now to have a holiday somewhere warm or interesting in January [the British winter]. Every January. January on this side of the world is horrendous.

22. Give up on those books or TV shows that you’re just not enjoying.

23. Dogs should be compulsory on public transport during the morning commute.

24. I only started learning how to cook and bake when I was 34. I still don’t know how to drive. I’m not a great swimmer. I’m working on it. On and off.

25. I’ve been struggling to write a book for years now. It’s really difficult. Tip your hat to anyone who has written a book even one you think is a bad book. It’s a really really f***ing hard job.

26. Getting to see your nephews and nieces grow into adults is weird and wonderful and you’ll never stop treating them as children, nor should you.

27. I only started getting semi-serious about regular exercise in my early 30s. Find something you like and can do regularly.

28. I don’t even pretend to fake an interest in things I don’t like (eg: football.) But I try to make some effort to show an interest when it’s important to important people in my life. (Again, eg: football.)

29. The older I get the more appreciation and respect I have, and yes love I have, for my siblings.

30. It’s taken me a long time to realise and to accept that I just don’t like visiting art galleries.

31. Put the effort into your friendships.

32. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough or qualified enough for that job in your field. Look at the world around you. Look at the people who are in charge. Trust me, you’re good enough. You’re qualified.

33. My default position for life has been; have low expectations then you’ll never be disappointed. Won’t lie, it’s not a great approach to life. It’ll keep you cynical and safe, but that’s about it.

34. I’ve been on antidepressants for five years now. Not sure if they’re working or not. I don’t know anything really when it comes to mental health only that I’m willing to try whatever I can to stay steady and relatively healthy.

35. Try to be on time for things.

36. Take your backpacks off on busy trains.

37. Naps are f***ing great. Embrace them.

38. Self-deprecation is fine. Just don’t let it tip over into self-loathing. I’m looking at you fellow Irish person.

00:00 / ???