When I gave birth to my daughter five years ago, I didn’t know what to expect even though I religiously followed the What To Expect app on my phone.
Aside from the physical and emotional transformation, I had no idea that becoming a mother would change my marriage.
Much of my attention went towards the baby.
Watch: Be a good mum. Post continues below.
I wanted to anticipate all her needs and do everything right as a new mum. As I was adjusting and adapting to the new routine, I neglected much of my role as a wife.
After having our second, it seemed like the kids and I became a team and my husband was someone who filled in for me.
Whether it was about him not knowing where my daughter’s toy dog was or he was struggling to find clean socks for my son, there were so many moments where he didn’t get it.
He didn’t understand working mum guilt and the inadequate feeling whenever I forgot something or when my plans didn’t pan out. It didn’t seem fair he didn’t have to go through what I went through.
It led to a build-up of resentment and blow-ups where I would get mad at him for no reason at all.
One of the ways I dealt with the frustration was venting to my friends and family.
Every time I felt overwhelmed, I would complain about him behind his back. However, after a while, the issues got worse.
I realised it was doing more harm than good. Here’s why I stopped complaining about my husband behind his back:
I didn’t marry a horrible person.
"Why can’t he remember to bring an extra set of clothes for the kids?"