Before March this year, I had never watched Vanderpump Rules. The names Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix and Raquel Leviss meant nothing to me.
I also didn't care.
The US reality TV show is in its 10th season - that's a lot of drama to catch up on.
"I'll sit this one out," I told myself.
Then I start seeing it everywhere. "#Scandoval", as everyone is calling it.
I learn about the key players involved. I spot clues. I read very important gossip and see who's taking whose side.
It's now literally all I care about.
So please, indulge me. Here's my comprehensive recap of the Vanderpump Rules drama to date – otherwise known as #Scandoval For Dummies.
But first, watch the mid-season trailer for season 10 of Vanderpump Rules. It's wild.
This story starts in 2013.
Lisa Vanderpump is a cast member on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She also owns a string of restaurants in LA, including SUR (which stands for Sexy Unique Restaurant).