
15 October marked International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
When I looked it up, it is defined as being a day where “parents and families across Australia will honour their babies who passed away from miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death”.
I wrestled all day with whether to write something about this. On the one hand, I do not need some special day in the calendar to remember something I live with every day. And if I do need a special day, do I need to share it publicly?
But I decided to share my story because I feel that any sort of talk about pregnancy loss is so taboo, that when it happens, women are left feeling less alone. Maybe if I start talking about it, others will feel empowered to do the same?
But for me, there is another issue.
Because on International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, my own experience does not quite fit in to that neat little box.
In 2012 I was pregnant, and then I was not.
But I did not have a miscarriage or a stillbirth – I terminated, in other words aborted, a very much wanted pregnancy.
You see, in March of that year, we found out we were expecting our first child. But in late April, we found out that there was something wrong, and that I would most likely have to terminate. I was informed I would have to wait six weeks for the baby to develop a little more before we could know for sure. From 12 weeks until 18 weeks I walked around with a fake smile and a heavy heart as people congratulated us on our big exciting news, all the while knowing this was not going to end well.
Top Comments
Rush was correct, you lost a baby. I is no one's buisness how or why, unless you choose to share your story. I will share with you that I was a home care nurse and while on call I had to go to the home of a family who had a few day old baby with trisomy 13. She was very uncomfortable, in pain and the mom and dad were unable to soothe her. The MD had an order for morphine, which I administered. I spent time soothing the mom and dad who were understandibly upset. My heart broke a bit for them. I don't believe there is anything worse than having to watch your baby be in pain. You did the right thing for you. Never forget that. I am sorry for your loss, thrilled that your family has grown so much. God bless you.
I am sorry for your loss. I wish he had been healthy and was here with you, so you would not have had to write this. I truly am. I just want to say, your son is with Jesus, as all children who die young, are still born, and even the aborted ones, killed at the very early stages are. GOD loves them very much and they are with HIM as is your son.
But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” (Luke 18:16)