fashion

I met Trinny Woodall and within minutes, she knew I was wearing the wrong bra size.

If you were born before 1995 or just watched a lot of Foxtel after school like this writer, Trinny and Susannah need no introduction.

But, it’s been brought to my attention there are some whose personal style and inner monologue hasn’t yet been informed by brutally honest feedback delivered in British accents, so let’s recap.

Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine are, in my opinion, the High Priestesses of fashion.

You can watch a snippet of the magic that is Trinny and Susannah below. Post continues after video.

Video via BBC

The friends and fashion commentators solidified their place in pop culture when their makeover show What Not To Wear debuted on Britain’s BBC in 2001.

What Not To Wear was everything you ever wanted to know about how to look good in clothes from two women who felt like your grown up, effortlessly stylish, no bullsh*t, potty-mouthed friends. Rather than tiptoeing around, Trinny and Susannah specialised in delivering straightforward, sometimes-brutal truths about how to dress to show off their best bits.

They were able to do this because both Trinny and Susannah were, and still are, honest about their own flaws. They firmly believed no woman is perfect, nor does she have to be.

trinny and susannah
Susannah and Trinny in all their noughties glory. Image: Getty.
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Now, back to the present day, because this week, Trinny is in Australia launching her makeup line Trinny London.

If you're a mainstream TV watcher or follow beauty publications on Instagram, you would've seen Trinny making over people all over town with her little stack of creamy eyeshadows and lipsticks, with an odd swear word thrown in here and there.

This whirlwind PR trip brought her into the Mamamia office and trapped with me in our dark, padded cell box of a recording studio to talk about beauty, ageing, self-esteem and what makes women feel good for an upcoming episode of the You Beauty podcast. (Stay tuned.)

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Sitting across from the woman I spent so many years watching on the telly was completely surreal.

Trinny in real life is exactly how you'd imagine her to be. Impossibly tall and draped in gorgeous, billowing fabrics, she swooped down and greeted me with a kiss on each cheek.

"Hello darling," she said in the same deep, posh voice I've heard dishing out advice about getting your tits out and the dangers of wearing horizontal stripes for decades.

We discussed a lot of topics in our 20-minute interview. Like the time she casually posted about at-home dermarolling on her Instagram, not realising her 'Trinny tribe' would blindly stick needles into their faces just to copy her. And whether what makes women feel good about themselves has changed over the years of questionable fashion and beauty trends we all wish we'd had the foresight to sit out.

And then, the topic of conversation, naturally, turned to my breasts and it was a moment I won't soon forget.

Somewhere between explaining why she loves creamy makeup formulas and what colours go best with my red hair and fair skin, I mentioned I felt like I was getting madeover in my own episode of What Not To Wear.

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trinny and susannah
Guys, this is exactly what it looked like. Image: BBC.

The only thing missing was a signature Trinny and Susannah breast fondle and snap of a sagging bra strap, along with a good lecture about the importance of properly-fitting undergarments.

Without hesitation, Trinny leant across the table, felt my breast and asked me to sit up straight before leaning back and announcing I am a solid 36G (14G in Australian sizing). When I gently let her know I am in fact a 16E, she gave me a smile of someone who has seen a lot of boobs in her time.

"Darling, you're not an E cup."

Trinny's advice? My current bra size might be comfortable, but it's not doing anything for my waist.

"Go up in the cup size and down in the band size," she said. "When the boobs are lifted, magically, the waist appears."

That night after work, my breasts and I went straight to a department store and purchased a brand new, and sturdy, 14G bra. We also pinched ourselves because never did we think we would ever get to meet the Trinny of Trinny and Susannah, let alone receive fashion advice from her.

I can now die fulfilled and well supported.

Did you watch Trinny and Susannah on What Not To Wear? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

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