By ADAM ROZENBACHS
I recently toured Europe with my dad. I don’t recommend it. I mean, go with your dad, sure… just don’t go with mine.
My dad was born in Germany, and had always wanted to visit his homeland, so I decided I’d accompany him as repayment for everything he had done for me growing up – cricket every Saturday; helping me with my paper round when it was raining; making my maths teacher ‘disappear’ when I was given a D+.
Of course, I was initially hesitant about the trip, especially about spending so much of my inheritance. But then I had visions of nostalgia, and a strengthened bond between the two of us. Maybe even shedding a tear at discovering my ancestry. Unfortunately all it did was remind me why I always travel solo.
Happily, I made it back, with most of my sanity intact. I won’t say all, because that would be a lie. If I had to measure my current level of saneness, I’d say I’m not quite ‘vote for Bob Katter’, but I would happily sell you a three seater couch AND recliner for only $29.
Being dad’s first long haul flight I knew the plane’s entertainment system was going to be a struggle. He’s not good with technology; in fact, he still pays for things with cheques, a fact I can’t comprehend.
I recently got paid by cheque and could only think, “Alright, party time… in three to five business days.”
And it’s fine to be a technophobe, but the worst kind is a stubborn one. Unsurprisingly he didn’t ask for assistance when the film I had set up for him ran out while I was sleeping. So as we’re nearing the end of our first leg into Dubai, I woke to find him listening to the Koran… in Arabic (I haven’t lived at home for some time, but I am positive I’d have noticed a conversion to Islam).
Unfortunately, my dad is hard to impress. Like many of his generation he just gets on with business without fuss or fanfare – which, as I discovered as we hopped around Europe, includes travel.
When we got to the Eiffel Tower, dad just looked up and said, “Thought it’d be bigger.”
I’m still waiting for an apology from the French government.
He was disappointed the London Eye wasn’t in a park [obviously the Thames was blocking his view] and Big Ben was not what he expected [too much Ben, not enough Big].