I started most relationships in my early 20s with a dizzying amount of stupidity.
Even though my parents had been married for 20-plus years, they didn’t have a relationship I would have ever wanted for myself. Thus, my relationship skills had bloomed in a sludge of pop culture manure: rom-coms, fairy tales, novels. Beautiful beginnings with no clear blueprint of how you navigate the muddy middle.
I thought love meant my partner or I had to be a vessel. Either I’d find a man so perfect and needless that I could pour myself into him, or he’d be so utterly broken that I’d be the only one that could help him fill in all of his cracks.
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I was set up to believe some habits were healthy when they weren’t. By being in a relationship with toxic behaviours, it would make the entire relationship toxic.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship occurs when one or both individuals lapses into their own self-interest, and the three traits of every healthy relationship — trust, respect, and love — fall out of balance. Often, one or more traits will drop off altogether.