We’ve all been there.
The unsolicited creepy DM from a random guy on the internet, the dick pic from your Tinder match, the sleazy comment on how your boobs look in that pic you just posted on Instagram, the stranger who won’t stop spamming your inbox with “Hey”, even though you’re not replying.
“Sliding” into women’s DMs (read: laying the sleaze on, without invitation, via direct message) has become such a phenomenon, Yo Gotti even wrote a song about it, It Goes Down In The DM, and there are gross YouTube clips dedicated to teaching men how to do it. Because, obviously the world needs more male entitlement. *Sigh*
And as a sex columnist who promotes wearing whatever the hell you want, because #mybodymyrules, I tend to cop quite a bit of this.
So, this week I decided to do something a little nuts, and post a video of some of the real (and creepy AF) messages I get from total strangers on the internet. Because, if you actually say some of them aloud, they just sound ridiculous. And yeah, a little hilarious.
I’ve literally had men DM me everything from “Will you take a picture of your armpits and send it to me?” to “What do you think of this dick?” *Insert unsolicited dick pic here*
But here’s the thing that’s more unnerving than being asked to photograph your pits for a total stranger; when I don’t respond to these messages, they often turn nasty.
And this is something many women experience online and via dating apps, regardless of whether they’re a sex columnist who posts sexy snaps on their ‘Gram, or a stay-at-home mum who puts up the odd family holiday snap.
The constant stream of “Why haven’t you answered me yet?!” messages regularly end with retaliatory abuse like, “You’re an ugly slut, anyway!”.
That’s a real problem. Because as women, we don’t owe men anything. Full stop.
Not our time, not our attention, not even a one-word response via Instagram. And I’m tired of having to constantly accept these kinds of abusive messages as part of the parcel of being a woman in this world. I’m OVER being told I should “expect” this stuff because I post sexy images on my social media; that it’s “leading men on”.
I call BS. I dress sexy for no one but myself. For my own body confidence and sexual empowerment, and my clothes do not determine my consent.