sex

"After years of unwanted dick pics from a guy, I took a screenshot. His response was sickening."

This morning I woke up and went through the same routine I do every day. I rolled over and picked up my phone for a morning scroll through my social media feeds.

Then I saw it: a small red notification badge on the top corner of my Snapchat app.

Immediately, I knew what it was.

As a woman edging towards my mid-twenties, most of my friends have grown out of the Snapchat phase, and the app has become all but obsolete to me, unless I’m in desperate need for a flower crown filter or some face swap comedy.

However, there is one person that still snaps me, every week, like clockwork.

blocking unwanted dick pics

There is always one person who continues to Snapchat me. Image: supplied.

He and I have never met, the only information I have is his Snapchat username.

Despite this; for three years, this young man has sent me one photo a week, every week, regardless of my reaction.

I have never once replied to a photo, and my username is so obscure that he may not even know my gender.

And yet, every week, I receive an unwarranted image of him; posed naked on a bed, extreme unflattering close ups of his penis, even, on one confusing occasion, a video of him ‘seductively’ licking a cigarette.

I never really used Snapchat enough for this to be a real problem. Upon receiving these sexual images, I would usually just click his delivered image and click out of it immediately to get rid of the irritating notification.

However, this morning, his weekly photo was that of him grasping his erect penis with the caption ‘baby girl’.

Perhaps it was the far too affectionate caption, or perhaps I hadn’t had my morning coffee, but this morning’s image finally pushed me over the edge.

I took a screenshot of the picture, and replied with a polite yet firm request that he cease sending me these pictures, because I was obviously very disinterested.

blocking unwanted dick pics
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The response I sent to him. Image: supplied.

He replied within seconds.

“Why screenshot it then you creep? Why not just block me? You’re a f*cking psycho potato looking b*tch”.

Needless to say, I did block him directly after this. Now here’s where my real issues with this interaction arise.

  1. Why would taking a screenshot make me a creep if he obviously wants me to see him like this on a weekly basis?
  2. These images are most likely sent to every woman on his contact list, I would not be the only recipient. Does this persistence pay off? Is he playing the ‘long game’, wearing girls down until they think, if they sleep with him, maybe he will leave them be?
  3. If he’s never seen my face, how could he pick my resemblance to a potato? And if he did know about the many similarities my favourite vegetable and I share, why would he want to initiate sex at all?
  4. Now here’s the big one. Why is it my responsibility to block this man?

Why, when I requested he stop, was he astonished that I hadn’t just blocked him? Why do I, the recipient of unwarranted images, have to go out of my way to stop the harassment? Why is it my fault, and not his?

I spoke to several people that morning about the incident, and was met with the same answer: that I should have just blocked him three years ago. I was treated as silly for not doing so. I was led to believe that by not blocking him, I was asking for it. Starting to sound familiar now?

It's time to start calling out the grope. We discuss at Mamamia. (Post continues after audio.)

These people I spoke to were mostly women, and several were women who have experienced the same harassment.

Let’s face it; most women in my age group have experienced it more than once.

We simply block them and move on like responsible social media participants, because somehow, it’s our responsibility to protect ourselves from online sexual harassment.

But why? Why should we have to go to these lengths to enjoy a social platform we have every right to be on? Instead of us having to keep our privacy settings high and block strange men, why don’t those men just stop sending us unsolicited pictures? Isn’t that easier?

When this point is brought up, it’s combatted with the argument that we can’t control what others do, simply protect ourselves from their actions.

This is fundamentally wrong. This is a flawed way of justifying ourselves when we blame the victim. “Why didn’t you block him?” is just a few steps away from “what were you wearing?”

So next time you want to ask a victim why they didn’t block him, try asking, ‘why doesn’t he just stop harassing you?’

Of course this isn’t a perfect world, and we will never be able to stop this type of harassment, but the fact of the matter is; harassment is never the victim’s fault, even when she’s in a tight dress at a nightclub, and even when she has Snapchat.

No matter what form it comes in or how many seconds you’re exposed to it, harassment is never, ever ok.

Tags: dick-pic , facebook-rogue , harassment , snapchat
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