No one loves Tinder as much as a person in a happy relationship.

When I was on dating apps for eight long years, I wondered if they could get any worse. Sure, there were good moments, but there were also fake profiles, liars, ghosting, rejections, and endless inane conversations. 

Dating apps were a necessary evil, but they often brought out the worst in human behaviour.

Well, this week I got my answer. Dating apps can get worse, and, in fact, they just did. On Monday, Tinder rolled out a new feature, 'Matchmaking', that gives users the opportunity to allow friends and family to recommend matches. Up to fifteen people – yes, fifteen! – can view the profiles of Tinder users, even if they don't have an account themselves. 

This is great news for partnered people who want to get in on the fun. When I was single and dating, my married friends used to beg me to let them swipe on my Tinder. 

"Ooh, he's cute!" they'd say. "Oh! I'm living vicariously through you!" 

I'm telling you, no one loves Tinder as much as the person in a happy relationship. But for single people, it is a genuinely awful idea.

Watch Tinder Tales: Date Swiping. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

Being on a dating app is an exercise in vulnerability. You advertise yourself as a potential date, and open yourself up to judgement and rejection. It's scary! It takes courage! You need to be resilient! 

The one saving grace is that you know, when you're swiping, that everyone else is in exactly the same boat. Everyone on the app is being equally vulnerable, and is putting themselves out there and hoping for the best. 

The Matchmaker function completely changes the game. It transforms Tinder from an app for single people only into an app of single people for everyone to use! It turns the catalogue of singles into a type of entertainment. Let's all check out the hopeful singles! Let's all get in on the fun, and start swiping! 

How's that for vulnerability? Being judged by people who aren't even in the game?

And there's not even a point. The Matchmaker feature won't help people to find love. 

Sure, it's fun to show your friends your Tinder account now and again, but nobody actually needs their friends' recommendations. If you swipe left on Brandon from Cronulla, it matters not one iota if your bestie finds him attractive, or if your mum thinks he looks like a really nice man. And if Brandon swipes right on you only because his mate Kevin told him to, it probably doesn't augur well for your future.

I'm sure the Tinder executives know that Matchmaking isn't useful, and that it will very likely make the app more toxic. But no one at Tinder is interested in helping people find love; they are interested in increasing the number of users of the app. Gen Z, in particular, are migrating away from dating apps, and are using social media platforms like Instagram to find partners. Matchmaker is Tinder's attempt to lure them back, by incorporating a social element into the mix.


There are times when friends and family should play a role in your dating life. When you are going on a date, and a friend texts after twenty minutes to see if you need rescuing. When something feels a bit off, and a friend does a deep dive online and helps you to figure out whether the man is legit. When you get dumped, and your bestie tells you the guy was a jerk, as she feeds you ice cream and hands you the tissues. 

But dating isn't a fun game to play with friends and family. Dating is about meeting people, and trying to make genuine connections. When we start treating dating as a game, we forget that there are real, vulnerable people behind each profile, and the commodification of relationships is notched up to the point where it is almost impossible to be your authentic self.

It's clear that the Tinder executives are trying desperately to stay relevant in a landscape that keeps evolving. Still, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should. The Matchmaking feature probably won't generate any new romantic sparks, but users are definitely going to get burned.

What are your thoughts about this new feature? Let us know in the comments below!

Feature Image: Getty.

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