I live alone.
When I walk in the door at night, I don’t have to ask anyone how their day was. I just whip off my bra, say hello to my dog, and do whatever the heck I want.
I love living alone. I’ve lived on my own several times in my life and nothing beats it.
Sure, I live in a mould infested crappy lil’ apartment that still smells like the previous tenant – but that mould infested crappy lil’ apartment is all mine.
I think everyone should live alone at least once in their lives.
Living alone teaches you how to be self-sufficient, you learn how to watch horror movies on your own without screaming like a five-year-old, and you figure out just how lax you’re prepared to be with your own personal hygiene.
Sometimes people who live alone take tests on the internet. Like this one, which tells you whether or not you’re a narcissist. Post continues.
It also gives you the opportunity to do some really bizarre sh*t.
Here are seven weird and wonderful things everyone who lives on their own does:
1. Talk to ourselves
I mean, this one is a given.
It’s only natural that when you live alone your inner monologue becomes an outer monologue.
I also have a dog so I think it’s very important to update him on everything I’m thinking, feeling and doing.
He… he… doesn’t agree.
2. Laugh at own own jokes
I do this all the damn time.
All of my best jokes come to me when I’m in the middle of a three day hibernation in my apartment.
So I have no choice but to say them out loud, laugh, slap my own thigh, and look at my dog for reassurance that, yes, that is the best Married At First Sight-related gag he has heard all week.
3.Worry that we might die alone and no one will find us for days
Everyone who lives alone has this fear.
I mean, it is extremely likely that you will die in your sleep and no one will find you for days. Or you’ll be half-eaten by Alsatians (or in my case, one small Jack Russell Terrier).
It’s quite possible that you’ll slip on the milk you dropped on the kitchen floor last week, and you’ll have to lie on the ground for days calling out for help, but Doris from next door won’t help you because you stole her mail that one time.