When I was a kid I couldn’t understand how Jesus was able to age 33 years between Christmas and Easter. I only managed to get through one term of school and he lived a whole 33 years?
It made me very sad for him that his whole life only lasted three to four months… but also I was excited about chocolate.
Then I realised.
That’s not how dates work.
Jesus got his full 33 years and I’m an idiot… but I still got chocolate.
Anywho, my point is people can be unbelievably stupid.
We’ve all had moments when we’ve realised something very, very simple and then wondered how the heck we’ve actually been getting through life all this time.
That’s why a Twitter thread about the very topic is so goddamn hilarious.
Jon Stone, a Europe Correspondent at the Independent, asked people to share the really obvious things they didn’t realise until embarrassingly late in their lives.
What are some really obvious things you didn’t realise until embarrassingly late in your life? I didn’t know Bolivia was named after Simón Bolívar
— Jon Stone (@joncstone) March 18, 2018
And the people delivered.
I thought chives were small fish until ~1 year ago.
— Sam Lowe (@SamuelMarcLowe) March 18, 2018
No I understand. Both I and my friend thought capers were small fish until v recently. It’s the anchovies thing. They’re all too similar
— Jennifer Williams (@JenWilliamsMEN) March 18, 2018
The Domino’s logo is a domino
— Benjamin Kentish (@BenKentish) March 18, 2018
There was also a (relatively short tbf) early-teen phase when I thought the lyrics were “poppadom preach”…
— Benjamin Kentish (@BenKentish) March 18, 2018
I thought ‘outgoing’ as in ‘outgoing CEO’ was always an odd reference to their social skills and/or possibly a euphemism for liking their booze. I was 23 when I found out.
— Arron Reza Merat (@a_merat) March 18, 2018
I’ve just found out that Arkansaw is Arkansas
— Gaenor Deacon (@gaisymay) March 18, 2018
That in the song “I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause”, The mom is kissing the kid’s dad, who dresses up as Santa. I just thought the mom was giving Santa a friendly peck on his way out of the house.
— Andrew W Daly (@TungstenPoles) March 19, 2018
That a cappuccino is not, in fact, called a “cup of chino”.
— Mark Coughlan ???????? ???????? (@mjc0ughlan) March 18, 2018
I thought parents only had kids by accident so once I had a friend tell me her parents planned her and I was like “No, you were an accident no parents plan their kids”
— umm.leslie (@heey_leslie) March 18, 2018
Until I was like 15, I thought when restaurants had discounts for “vets” they meant veterinarians…
— MJ is Still with Her (@sardonic_bitch) March 18, 2018
Until I was 10 or so I thought the bank just gave you whatever money you asked for, I didn’t realize it was actually your money.
— AwpWilliams❤️ (@AwpWilliams) March 18, 2018
Never realised that red and green peppers are the same pepper at different stages of ripeness. Thought they were two completely different varieties
— Ian Murphy (@murphmanz) March 18, 2018
For a number of years I thought the armadillo mentioned in friends was in fact part of Hanukkah. I missed the bit where he just got the costume as it was all they had left.
— Clair (@ClairBearStare) March 18, 2018
ponies are not baby horses
— gen (@lmogendragons) March 18, 2018
Bumble is a breed of bee. Thought it was a childish name like ‘moo cow’
— Paul Rayment (@paulruk) March 18, 2018
I spent 36 years saying “You’ve been in the walls!” when people had cuts and bruises ???????? I wasn’t right at all after finding out the truth!
— Sarah Bettaney Brady (@sarahruthbrady) March 18, 2018
I thought for many years that the Beatles song was ‘paper bag writer’. I was picturing those brown paper bags. I have been known to write on paper bags in the absence of other paper. It made perfect sense to me. I’m actually a bit disappointed that it’s paperback. #amwriting
— Tamsin Mori (@MoriTamsin) March 18, 2018
Flo Rida took his name from the State.
— Nick Evans (@NickEvans1990) March 18, 2018
I remember having a moment of realisation when it dawned on me that the milk in a bottle of milk wasn’t from a single cow.
— tom (@tdotsawyer) March 18, 2018
That 1st 2nd and 3rd are the numbers and then the last two letters of the word e.g. firST 1ST
— ouhoh (@tuucoe) March 18, 2018
I was in 8th grade before I realized the world was actually in color a hundred years ago and that it was the film that was black and white. ????????♀️
— Tina Ellsworth, PhD (@DrEllsworthOPS) March 19, 2018
Mate, raisins are just dried grapes, had no idea until a couple weeks ago whole word shattered
— aaron (@KimmyF92) March 18, 2018
it’s “spur of the moment” not “sperm of the moment” ???? https://t.co/ATrA9sB5MV
— Tommy Pico (@heyteebs) March 18, 2018
Yep. People are great.