It’s a doozy.
“I’m really sad Geoff’s gone. He was kind of like this wise old Yoda that didn’t really do much,” says a disembodied voice that could be Sophie Monk.
Sideshow Dormer goes on to proclaim that he’s not going to let Richard Reid’s bullshit affect him today. I wish you the greatest of luck with that, my curly-haired friend.
This week, my sweet, misunderstood Esther is out to prove she’s really a boss-lady, but there’s a spanner in the works: Gina Liano, arguably the strongest, or at least the bossiest, member of the ladies’ team, has called one in.
Royal Prank DJ Mel Greig helpfully informs us that Liano is known to have a weak bowel.
“Even though Gina wasn’t the project manager in all three challenges, she clearly WAS the project manager in all three challenges,” Muscles Cooper observes sagely.
All celebrities arrive in a park, for no discernible reason. Mr Mark Bouris arrives with his stilettoed henchwomen, whose heels must be sinking right into that grass.
Bouris tells our celebrities that this challenge is personal. This is because it directly affects his
bank account business and possibly his self-esteem. Their task this week is to launch Bouris’s own new financial product called “Guru”.
What, pray, is Guru? Well, dear audience, you will be left in no doubt as to the benefits of this very necessary and useful product by the end of the show.
“It gives Australians a look into the future on the day they retire,” Daddy Warbucks tells the celebrities. He is both a wizard and a businessman.
Daddy Warbucks is going to decide who wins this challenge based on product knowledge, product communication, and how many
Channel 10 viewers customers the celebrities sign up.
Sweet, misunderstood Esther believes this is a challenge which lends itself to her skills: communicating one-on-one.
I’M BETTER ONE-ON-ONE TOO ESTHER! Groups give me hives.
Bouris and his hench-ladies stalk off after plucking their heels from the soil, leaving our overdressed celebrities standing gormlessly in the park.
The groups head to nondescript meeting rooms to hatch their plans. “Oi don’t understand what we’re selling,” says Monk, something that will become something of a theme for this episode and presumably Monk’s day-to-day life.
Royal Prank DJ says she had income protection which saved her following that disastrous prank call that resulted in tragedy and left her virtually untouchable. By contrast, her co-host Mike Christian was awarded Southern Cross Austereo’s Next Top Jock award.
RPDJ goes on: she had to write out her will because of threats against her life; she flew to the UK to attend the inquest on her own dime.