Last night’s episode of The Bachelorette was somewhat perplexing.
Georgia Love, our intelligent, well-spoken, confident, feminist icon was being her princess-self during a medieval-themed date, when all of a sudden, her merry little men turned into a bunch of dicks.
While Courtney has copped most of the flack for his poor behaviour, choosing not to even try in a competition to win more time with Georgia, there was another man in a knight costume who had us banging our heads against a wall.
RHYS.
When Rhys ended up winning more time with Georgia (by default, because the others chose to let him win, reasoning, "he does more damage when he's speaking") he was... rude. There's no other way to describe it.
He sat opposite her and opened the conversation with a snide remark about her not speaking to him enough at the last cocktail party.
Rhys, dude. This is Georgia's show. She can do whatever the f*ck she wants. And now that you are speaking to her, surely you have something more interesting to say other than "why don't you ever speak to me?"
He then explained his poetry has been really great because he can write his feelings down and say them in the right words to her. Georgia's reaction looked something like this:
THEN he muttered a few words that essentially meant, "You'd better have a poem for me next time."
No. No, Rhys. Georgia doesn't need to write you a poem. If you write her a poem, you shouldn't expect anything in return, let alone the exact same thing reciprocated.
His tone made it sound like he trying to... teach her? About social conventions? This, from the guy who made it clear on his very first night in the mansion that he was more interested in some dude named Aaron than he was in Georgia.
WHAT THE HELL, RHYS.
AND THEN, as if this whole conversation wasn't horrible enough, he dropped in that some of his fellow contestants aren't there for the 'right' reasons.
"I think there's some men, and there's some boys," he said cryptically, before hinting that some of the guys aren't actually interested in her.
When she asked him who he was talking about, he said he wouldn't give names, because "it goes against me." You see, Rhys is a really honest guy, and he couldn't possibly dob in one of his bros. He can shame Georgia on national television, and plant insecurities in her mind, but he can't tell her the names of the people who are playing her.
Who does that? That's a horrible thing to do. It's tantamount to someone coming up to me at work right now and saying, "Oh hey, yeah someone is bitching about you. Like saying really, really mean things. But I can't tell you who. That would be wrong."
And the whole time, he had this smug little look on his face, as if to say, 'Ahh, isn't my company a pleasure?'
To be honest, I was pretty disappointed Georgia didn't send Rhys home last night. But I'm hoping she's waiting to see how bad it can get, before she stands up tall and bellows into his face, "YOU MAKE ME FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT MYSELF AND THIS ISN'T FUN AT ALL."
At least, that's what I've wanted to say to a lot of guys like Rhys.
And believe me, there are a lot of guys like Rhys. Of course, I wholly understand the major role production plays in forming a personality on reality television. When I say 'Rhys', I'm not really talking about Rhys the person. I'm talking about Rhys the archetypal character Channel 10 has created to resemble what so many women experience in real life.
The only way I can comprehend how these types of guys behave is that they think 'negging' is something that actually works.
According to the (always accurate) urban dictionary, negging is "the offering of low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances."
I asked the Mamamia office whether they had ever been subtly insulted by a guy who was (apparently) trying to pick them up. These were some of the responses I received:
"He asked if I 'always eat that much' and made like an uncomfortably big deal about it."
"I said something about a 'grey area', and he said, 'if I gave you a grey area you'd just sweat through it' - referencing the fact I was wearing a grey marle T-shirt and yes, had sweated through it."
"I was at the beach with a guy once and he gets his towel, puts it over my bottom half, and goes 'if your body stopped there it would look really skinny.'"
"I was at a club and this guy grabbed my arm as I was walking through with my friends and was like 'Babe, you're gorgeous but those shorts are really unflattering.'"
"I was speaking to a European guy and he said, 'You're okay for an Australian, but your accent is pretty bogan when you're drunk.'"
"I had a guy literally come up to me and say, 'Every other guy at this party likes you except for me,' and then walk away."
WHAT THE HELL, DUDES?
There's a reason the only people using these strategies are 'pick up artists' who are 'playing the game.' BECAUSE THEY'RE SINGLE. BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T WANT TO BE INSULTED, PLS.
Georgia has hinted things come to a head with Rhys on tonight's episode of The Bachelorette, and we can't wait to see how she responds to the all-too-common experience of being torn down by a guy who (apparently) likes you.
And here are some words of wisdom for Georgia: The guy who tells you there are people on the show who aren't there for the right reasons, and then won't tell you WHO THEY ARE, is most definitely one of the people who ISN'T THERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
Want more of The Bachelorette? Check out Bach Chat. The podcast to listen to after you've watched the show: