WARNING: THIS POST DOES NOT CONTAIN ACTUAL SPOILERS.
Strap yourself in Frost fans, The Bachelorette Finale Week is upon us and you know what that means?
COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED SPOILERS AND ABSURDLY SPECULATIVE COMMENTARY.
We’ve been scouring the net for information all bloody day and all we’ve discovered is that Sam is a) not pregnant b) in love. Yeah, duh. Ugh.
Everyone is remaining tight lipped and terrified of their privacy contracts, so we’re no closer to knowing who will take home the final rose.
But someone must! The trailer even confirmed it.
Watch the trailer here (post continues after video):
What other secrets does the trailer hold? What teenie tiny, tease-y clues can we find hidden in it’s expansive 30 seconds?
Well, everyone is in love now, for one.
The Men are ALL bloody saying it. Sam, however, is staying tight lipped (she is good at keeping secrets, after all), but unfortunately for her (would we say unfortunately?) she has a face and THAT FACE is riddled with potential spoilers.
Here’s how she reacted when Sasha said “I’m falling more and more in love with you”.
I call it the Yeah Duh You Say It Literally Every Two Minutes:
And here’s how she reacted when adorkable Richie revealed “I am falling for [indecipherable]”, while pushing her hair behind her ear.
Earlier today, Frosty posted an Instagram piccy confirming her lack of pregnancy, loved-up feeling and warning that Wednesday night’s episode is going to be “heartbreaking”.
She hinted at a “very sad moment saying goodbye to a truly incredible man” … *cough* … that man is obviously going to be Michael.
It’s Sasha! Which it is obviously not, but Channel 10 obviously wants to misdirect us to think that it is by cutting a shot of him frowning right before the shot of Sam crying etc.
Blah blah blah… We’re 19 seconds in and essentially all the remaining 11 seconds of the trailer tells us is that Sam has travelled to New Zealand, she has given away her final rose and she is thinking about tying the knot.
You can tell from her blurry wedding dress.
Listen to Jo with Monique Bowley and Lizzie Marton on Bach Chat: The Bachelorette Recap Podcast.
Listen in itunes, or here: