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Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: One man straight up refused to accept a rose.

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Well, well, well.

If it isn't time for us to watch TWO white women try to find love on national TV because... diversity. 

We open on Osher walking through The Bachelorette mansion doing a count. 

One white woman plus another white woman equals two bachelorettes divided by two short-lived relationships minus six weeks of drama and gossip to the power of 100 = one very happy Osher. 

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Elly and Becky are in Parkes showcasing its greatest assets - the dish that was in that movie that one time, one Jack Russell and one Cavoodle, a street named Bogan, and a bloke named Max.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Elly reflects on the time she was brutally rejected by that guy with the glasses on The Bachelor. Becky cries because it was embarrassing for the entire family. 

The sisters arrive at the mansion and meet Osher who is still doing a count. 

Bachelorette bubble plus country rose plus double bachelorette wedding = smiley boy. 

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The men begin to arrive. 

The first to arrive is... Pennywise the Clown. 

NO THANK YOU PLEASE  He pops in and out of the street gutters and haunts a group of neighbourhood children who are just trying to go about their business. 

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It's very silly of him. 

Next up is Frazer. He has a beautiful face but is very confused about the two bachelorettes. 

Two bachelorettes squared equals 500,000 more Instagram followers for Fraser?  There are no words to describe what happens next... 

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SWEETIE  

WHAT 

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ARE 

YOU  

DOING? 

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AB gets a lil bit excited about Becky's red dress and completely misses the second bachelorette who is standing.... right beside her.

Trent arrives in a mask that's covering the wrong half of his face and says he needs half an hour warning when there's... two birds. 

You've completely missed the point.  Adrian arrives in a... fun hat. 

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I present without... comment.  

Next Sassy Cupid arrives, and he's perplexed as to where to shoot his arrow? 

OSHER IS 100% TO BLAME FOR THIS.  

A nice young man named Harry introduces himself to the sisters, and while he sounds like Shannon Noll he seems... normal. He's yet to pelvic thrust at the sisters or call them birds. 

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Potential husbo number 1.  

Shannon arrives with his three brothers, and they do the haka. 

 

Elly and Becky quickly do the maths and work out they can have two New Zealand brothers each. 

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Samuel arrives impersonating a goose  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  and then gives the sisters a dolphin kiss. He's such a unique boy and I love him unconditionally. 

SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDS?  

Next Joe arrives, and he's legit Elly's ex-boyfriend. 

They pretend they weren't expecting to see each other just like Oshie told them to in rehearsals. 

 

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Elly and Becky arrive in the mansion and Osher explains the sisters are about to hand out the "country rose" to the man who made the best first impression. 

The guy in the fun hat actually thinks he's in with a good chance. 

Harry receives the "country rose" because of that time he didn't pelvic thrust at the sisters or even call them birds. 

As the winner of the "country rose" Harry gets to choose another man to take on a double date with him and the sisters. 

Elly and Becky chat to some of the guys individually while the rest of the men try to get a date with... Harry. 

Joe decides this is the perfect time to tell the rest of the guys about that one time he used to date Elly. 

The men make a bunch of shocked faces and then start yelling about whether they kissed. 

The Sassy Cupid aka the self-appointed narrator says it's just "another spanner in the mix" and true.

At this point the men legit lose it. AB does a backflip while Samuel impersonates a dolphin and the alpacas are embarrassed for each and every one of them. 

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Guys pls.  

Elly has a chat to Frazer and they decide they both like the sunshine and also the outdoors, so that's fun. 

Osher comes out from behind the bushes and asks Harry who he's going to take on the double date. 

Harry announces that he's taking Shannon on the date and also... Becky and Elly. 

Becky, Elly, Harry and Shannon stand in the corner and talk about how much fun they're going to have on their country rose date in the country while they're wearing Country Road, and singing Old Country Road, and talking about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's daughter Sunday Rose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

MEANWHILE, A MAN IS STILL WALKING AROUND DRESSED AS CUPID AND ADRIAN IS STILL WEARING HIS FUN HAT. 

It's rose ceremony time and both Elly and Becky are handing out roses. 

Elly gives her ex-boyfriend Joe a rose. 

Becky tries to give AB - the man who pelvic thrusted his way down the red carpet - a rose and he tells her he's not... interested. 

via GIPHY

Becky walks him to the limo and he pelvic thrusts all the way to Paradise. 

Elly gives Sassy Cupid a rose. 

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Adrian and his fun hat get a rose. 

Damian gets the last rose. 

Samuel and his animal noises and a miscellaneous man named Nick do not receive a rose. 

Samuel gives the mansion one final dolphin kiss and heads home to tell his mum what a special boy he has been. 

WE'LL 

NEVER 

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FORGET 

YOU 

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.


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