By ROSIE WATERLAND
Wait. What is happening? Why have we opened on the girls casually relaxing at Ridge Forrester’s house?
This feels wrong. Why isn’t Bachie Wiggum rowing or basketballing or looking out at the ocean in a tank top? Has Anita locked him in a cupboard somewhere? Has Audrey Day-Knight taken him shopping for classy ‘Prado’ bags at Fountain Lakes?
Help me Osher, I’m frightened!
Phew. Osher’s hair arrives to make me feel safe. He’s brought the single date card, which goes to Sam. Canadian Killer Horse girl is still pissed because she missed her Episode 3 farm-date due to a killer horse allergy. She throws a major tantrum, and starts realising some harsh truths about life in the Sparkly Hunger Games Polygamy Contest: