By ROSIE WATERLAND
Oh girls. How your numbers have dwindled. Look at you sitting there, casually hanging out in Ridge Forrester’s house, like you haven’t been through an epic ordeal of romance. How strong you all are, to have withstood the pain of seeing your comrades fall. And all for the perfect man – the man who is dating all of you, and picking you off, one by one. YOU ARE TRUE HEROES.
OSHER’S HERE! Oh. And he’s gone again. That was quick. Back to the dungeon in the bowels of Channel Ten, no doubt. Hair with that much dye should not be exposed to natural light for extended periods. Also, he needs to practise his love-puns for upcoming episodes. Sandra Sully won’t brush his hair until he can get through a whole sentence without any mistakes. Which is kind of hard when he can’t stop crying and thinking of Dicko.