By ROSIE WATERLAND
I’m worried about Bachie. This is the second night in a row we haven’t seen him jogging shirtless on the beach. Or holding up a heavy newspaper with his bulging businessman biceps. I hope he’s okay. Why does he keep forcing us to watch the girls ‘casually’ hanging out in the house they’re definitely not trapped in? Is he stuck on a word in his reading group’s latest Goosebumps novel?
Osher can keep things moving forward when Bachie’s not around, but he can only spend so long away from the vitamin-infused hyperbaric chamber he got from Global Shop Direct before his hair starts to wilt. It’s really unfair of Channel Ten to work him so hard. Especially since he used to know Mark Holden.
Oshie leaves two date cards with the girls. Gushica gets the single date and… Well, remember that moment in Week 1, when she was still Jessica, and she gushed so much that she shed her skin and became Gushica?
We just reached Gushica 2.0, people – Anne-Hathaway level gushing.
She cannot even deal with hearing her name called out for a single date. Gushica’s gushing reaches fever-pitch. Peak gush is a thing of the past. This is MEGA-GUSH: