real life

The way texting changes after you say "I do".


Remember when you first started dating that special someone and everything was sunshine, rainbows and endless love heart emojis?

Then, the years pass by. You get married. And all of a sudden, all those “I love yous” and “sweet dreams” and other lovey-dovey texts are replaced by “oks” and “what’s for dinners”.

For their one year anniversary, data scientist and self-confessed “nerd” Alice Zhao’s boyfriend gave her the super-romantic gift of a Word document of all their text messages since their first date.

To celebrate the (now married) couple’s six year anniversary, Zhao took that original present to the next level, by analysing the texts from their first year of dating to those from the present day – and the results were veeery interesting.

On her blog, A Dash of Data, Zhao writes:

“Our conversations changed from “hey, what’s up?” to “ok, sounds good”. We stopped saying each other’s names in our text messages. We don’t say in “love” as much anymore.”

Before marriage… 

The timing of their texts had also changed, from a peak period of 3pm-3am to during the workday.

Zhao also revealed that the couple’s early “flirty, personal, interesting and thoughtful” texts had become more predictable over time.

But don’t despair, romantics: Zhao is quick to point out that while the present-day texts seem a little depressing compared to the early ones, they are actually the result of the couple now living together and being able to be romantic in person, meaning text is now used for more practical purposes.

After marriage

“We no longer have to text “I love you” from a distance in the middle of the night. I can now roll over, snuggle with my husband and whisper it into his ear,” she says.

Romance lives.

How romantic are your texts to your partner?

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