If “pork pie” was a euphemism for a kinky sex move we might have been impressed, however a husband in the UK has done himself no favours by gifting his wife an actual pork pie for her recent birthday.
And I thought the year my husband bought me a set of pots and pans was bad. Because it's the 1950s and women can always use a new set of pots and pans...
Thankfully we live in a social media age and the wife shared her sad tale on Mumsnet so we could all delight in it. And it's not like she started it. She was merely responding to the following question that had been posed:
What is the shittiest present a dp [domestic partner] has even got you?
When confronted by his wife over his choice of gift the husband tried to explain that he found his wife difficult to buy for, but he knows she likes pork pies so figured that would do.
It didn't do.
The wife - going by the name of Butterflybuns - fired back after his explanation by suggesting simple gifts she would have rather received including gin, chocolate and flowers. In fact, they might have gone quite nicely together.
Users tried to comfort her, suggesting it must have been a joke and that the real gift was on its way. Apparently this wasn't the case. Others asked if it was any old pork pie or a fancy, expensive one.
Try this simple and delicious Wagon Wheel cake. Yuuuuuum! Article continues after this video.
Butterflybuns explained that it wasn't a joke, nor a fancy enough pie to warrant it being used as a gift, but that she bought herself something nice as a consolation.
It's not a joke present and I really don't think he's going to come home with a surprise. I am off out today to buy myself something nice.
It got a bit sadder when she added that she wished for once that he'd put more thought into the gift.
...it just makes me feel so uncared for having to buy my own present...
However Mumsnet users soon cheered her up again, suggesting she put the pie in his shoe or buy him a sausage roll for his birthday. They also shared some of the gifts they've been given over the year:
Tales of oven gloves, war documentaries and ugly scarves followed. Strangely comforting but equally frustrating because as everyone knows, chocolates, flowers and a bottle of grog can spruce up even the worst of gifts.
Then there's the woman I know who received an atlas for her birthday and another who received an arthritis bracelet even though she doesn't have arthritis.
Well, here's hoping Butterflybuns bought herself something lovely.
What is the worst gift you have ever received?