It’s okay everyone, we’re nearly there. Just breathe.
Another Federal Election has come and gone, and while we still don’t know the result, it’s clear Australians have once again felt like they were the in South Park episode where they had to elect either a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich as the new school mascot.
We do know this: whoever manages to form government will spend a lot of time blaming. They’ll point the finger at the other team, the Senate and the crossbenchers for their woes and inability to implement ‘promises’. And the Australian people will want to be anywhere they don’t have to hear it.
Pollies, it’s really not that hard. Just follow my Top 10 Tips for successful government. If adhered to, they’ll set your reign apart from all those before you, and possibly even endear you to the voting public. And before you ask, I’m affiliated with no political party. I just wish whoever was in government did a fucking decent job.