Warning: This post includes details and imagery of stillbirth that may be triggering for some readers.
Never in a million years did I think what I am about to tell you would become a part of my story, but it is.
But before I get to that, let me first rewind and start with the joy of it all because I believe the difficult ending shouldn’t define the whole story.
It was a Monday night in October last year. My husband, Phil was at indoor soccer. After putting my two-year-old daughter Alaia to sleep, I decided to catch up on some trash TV aka Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But before I could make it to the couch I felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness. I had “THAT” feeling.
I texted Phil and asked him to purchase a pregnancy test on the way home. I know he had his reservations given my previous ectopic pregnancy only months before, but I felt sure my mother’s instincts that I was expecting were right. By the time he would get home, I would be fast asleep and it was only around 9pm.
I was asleep by the time he got home, but the next morning I karate-kicked my way out of bed at 5.30am. Literally.
I was so excited to take the pregnancy test because like I said, I just knew. They were the longest two minutes of my life, which I’m sure every mother in the room can relate to. But right there beaming back at me were the two blue lines I had hoped for. I was right.
Automatically the tears streamed down and from that moment, no one could wipe the smile off my face. I called Phil to tell him the news as he was already at work. He was ecstatic to say the least. I remember then running into Alaia’s room, waking her up and dancing around the room with her in my arms – this was pure happiness.
Later that week I visited the doctor to get the official verdict. They called me back on Saturday morning to confirm: I was pregnant!
Similar to my pregnancy with Alaia, morning sickness would hit once again. Only this time, 10 times as hard. Again, my instincts came to play – twins, I thought. Soon enough at my six-week scan, it would be confirmed, there were two babies growing inside of me. Nothing will ever compare to that moment.
There were odds stacked against me – I had PCOS, I had only one fallopian tube due the ectopic pregnancy, and I had a hernia operation just months earlier – and yet here I was, pregnant naturally with my rainbow baby twins. The doctors couldn’t believe it. My husband and I cried and laughed, we felt it was our happily ever after. Soon we would be a family of five, and we couldn’t wait.