The recent release of HSC results has given me an idea.
I’m going to start an education program for newborn babies. Scrap that. I’m probably too late if I wait until a child exists outside the womb – on the outside there are so many more distractions, like parents and the sky.
I’m going to start an education program for fetuses. I’m not talking about playing Mozart across a bulging tummy. I’m talking about sending really tiny tutors down digestive tracts to start on basic English, maths and because Latin is the building block of so many languages, and medicine and law use it as the basis of a lot of its terminology – I’ll also do an Introduction to Latin course.
I mean by six weeks in-utero the brain is beginning to divide into five parts. Surely one of those parts can start conjugating Latin verbs.
The program may sound ridiculous, but if it gives your child an advantage, that’s the name of the modern parenting game. There are tutoring centres (shadow education it’s called) that will start with a child at six months of age and these “centres of education” will tell you that if you leave tutoring until school age, you’ve left your academic success run too late.
Watch Mia Freedman talk about school below. Post continues after video.
All it takes is extra hours of tutoring (four-eight), from a really young age and academic dominance in life is “practically guaranteed”.
One tutor I spoke to said she ran “creative writing’ classes for six-year-olds, where parents regularly wanted to see her after class to discuss their child’s performance and work out how to get “more out of them”. At six they were just not producing like J.K Rowling. Their ideas weren’t creative enough. Something was obviously wrong, but a bit of pushing, time and money could surely fix it.
“I did it for a while because it paid really good money, but I stopped after six months because it became really uncomfortable trying to teach kids who didn’t want to be there whose parents kept ‘checking in’,” she said.
“There were a few kids who liked it, but most just wanted to play.”
Another tutor said, at $60 an hour, she “basically just did the kids’ homework, because the parents were busy but wanted to make sure there child stayed ‘competitive’.”