lifestyle

8 problems that only short people understand.

For vertically challenged people, being fun-sized isn’t really all that fun a lot of the time. There’s a reason so many hits come up when you type ‘Short people problems’ into Google… and that’s because us shorty’s have 99 problems and not being able to reach anything is just another one.

Presenting some annoying, awkward and otherwise downright frustrating scenarios that short people find themselves in. Constantly.

1) Petting

I’m not sure what it is about normal-sized people and thinking that a short person is some type of pet, but I swear to God if one more person pats me on the head, and makes an awwww noise, I might just actually give up and end up barking at them.

2) Not being taken seriously

This follows off point number one. When you’re trying to have an argument, and get your point across, it’s very hard to be taken seriously. I like to think people throw in the ‘You’re so cute when you’re angry!’ remark because they realise they’re wrong and I’m right. Or something.

And just try to be taken seriously when you’re in a meeting and your feet won’t reach the ground while sitting on a chair. It just ain’t going to happen. Learn to dangle your feet with authority.

3) Trying to order at bars, cafes or just ANYWHERE

That hand sticking up desperately trying to order a glass of wine after a hard day of work is me.
Mr Bartender, please stop ignoring me and curbing my alcoholic desires. Likewise people pushing in, I’m a real person too.

4) Becoming everyone’s favourite plaything

I was once out and got separated from my friends. Being short, I couldn’t easily scope them out on the dance floor. Cue Prince Charming* coming along. “YOU LOOK LOST!” he bellows. After telling him I’m simply looking for my friends, he picks me up, bounces me up and down, beams at me and says “You’re like a little doll! I could just keep you on my mantlepiece forever!”

*Mate. Put me down. Seriously.

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5) Trying to reach things you need

When you’re at the supermarket or your own house, sometimes the one desperate thing you’re in need of is way too hard to obtain. Whether it’s the chocolate Paddlepops in the back of the Woolworths freezer, or the rice strainer your housemate has conveniently left ON TOP OF THE CUPBOARD, short people become pro at climbing things that aren’t meant to be climbed.

Don’t even get me started on the fact I can’t see into my bathroom mirror. It’s like a modern day horror story.

6) Clothing and shopping woes

Sometimes being short can help with shopping dilemmas (re: please see my kids size [and therefore cheaper] joggers, gumboots and slippers).

But shopping for basically everything else is a major pain in the butt. From jeans that need the hem taken up EVERY TIME, to skirts and dresses that would look super cool and fashionable on anyone else, but make you look like you’re being shipped off to Amish land… shopping presents many challenges to the tiny people in the world.

7) Transportation

I was convinced up until I was 19 I was too short to drive a car. Now, I get away without needing a booster seat, but not all short people are so lucky.

Then there’s public transportation: No one likes that 7 or 8am commute to work, but when you’re the height of everyone else’s armpits, it makes it even more undesirable. So while the morning may be bearable enough when everyone’s showered and fresh, don’t even get me started on the afternoon version of body odours.

8) Trying to see at concerts, gigs and even movies

Oh sorry did you actually want to see the band/artist perform?

Hahahaha, good one.

Nope.

Have you got any to add to the list? 

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