Behind every sexy Instagram snap that ignites a fire within your loins is a broken soul who is screaming internally.
We now live in world where our level of love and commitment in a relationship is measured by the number of “likes” the creatures with opposable thumbs deign to throw our way.
That would explain why it’s not uncommon to spy a photo of a couple with their limbs entwined and their gaping mouths suckling at one another right next to a snap of some poached eggs or a birthday shout-out to your Grandma on Instagram.
However, have you ever stopped to think about who is actually taking these pics? Who is holding the camera and pushing the button down to capture this slew of so-called “candid” snaps that are being birthed into the world faster than a former Bachelor contestant chasing down a papparazo?
Think about all those photos you see online that sweep you into a fever of emotional lust because you feel like somehow the heavens must have opened up and allowed this couple to be caught in the act, an act that just so happens to take place under perfect lighting, of course.
But you know who was is never, ever pictured? The poor friend who got roped into watching their nearest and dearest reenact a poorly filmed nature documentary, but instead of filming a pride of lions doing the deed, it’s your best friend Lily and her new partner Greg with the stubble she met on Tinder.
Let’s all now take a moment of silence to commemorate “the third person” in every sexy Instagram snap.