Whether it’s your first time with a particular person or not, deciding to sleep with someone can be extremely exciting – but also overwhelmingly nerve wracking.
Maybe you met on a dating app and have a strong desire to “just go with the flow” and see where the night takes you.
Maybe you’re meeting up with a guy (or girl) you have previously met out with friends and this is the first time you’ll be alone together.
Or perhaps you’ve been dating someone for a while and you’re convinced that today is the day you’re finally going to do the deed.
Whatever your situation may be, there are some key steps it takes to feel confident to have all your bases covered for the night.
I put it to my girlfriends – my chorus of goddesses who always know best – who shared their “sex prep” must-dos with me and this is what we found to be most important:
1. Personal hygiene.
To some this might be a given, to others maybe not, but for me this is one area where I am absolutely going to preach to the choir about why being clean is so unbelievably important.
Once upon a time I dated a guy named Dan*(not his real name). He was smart, funny, witty and handsome. Dan* had extremely bad body odour. Dan’s* sweat perspired through his shirt, and when his arm was around my shoulder his body odour and sweat transferred onto me. Dan* did not pass go or collect $200. I politely declined Dan’s* offer to go back to his house. While Dan* was a nice guy, I was completely turned off due to his poor personal hygiene.
Make sure you shower – wash your hair, lather up with your favourite delicious smelling body scrub, exfoliate your skin, moisturise, brush your teeth and apply deodorant – Done.
Without sounding crude I need to make a point to talk about grooming. Every girl knows that there's no worse feeling than when you're just about to get down and dirty and the thought of "Oh my god, I haven't shaved!!!" flashes across your mind like a giant neon sign – it's a major buzzkill and totally avoidable.
Whatever you do, before you leave the house today, make sure you're silky smooth in all the places you want to be hair free. Only if you want to be, of course.
I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but I've been caught out twice wearing, errr, how would you say, granny panties. OK, that's an exaggeration - what I'm actually talking about is good ol' fashioned shapewear. While it may suck you in and make you curvy in all the right places, it is not ideal to have to stop in the heat of the moment to run to the bathroom and pray you can find a good hiding spot for your giant underwear.
Or even worse, it's all too late and right before your eyes your man is literally playing tug-o-war with your highly elasticised shapewear. #cringe
What you want to go for is something that makes YOU feel sexy - remember, confidence is the key.
Feelin' yo'self? Hell yeah. Image: GIPHY
4. Be prepared.
You are one strong, smart, divine goddess who is in absolute control of her life and this situation. You may not be able to predict how the night will play out, but you can be prepared for all moments by purchasing some protection to keep in your handbag, bathroom or even in the car.
Before you stress yourself about the idea of walking into a shop and purchasing a packet of condoms, Moments Condoms have you covered as you can order them online. They come in packs of three and 10 and have some really cute packaging that will blend right in with the rest of the contents of your handbag.
According to Moments, 68 percent of women say they aren't comfortable buying condoms. Sexual health is not something to joke about and I feel that all women should not feel ashamed to ask a man to wear a condom as this is proven to be the safest form of contraception, preventing pregnancy and protecting you from catching STIs.
5. Relax, your way.
Girlfriend, the time has come for you to go out and enjoy your date. You can now take a few deep breaths in and out and let nature run its course. No need to overthink things!
But if you need a little help relaxing beforehand, turn to your friends. We have a WhatsApp conversation that pretty much runs 24/7, so when one of us is on our way to a date we give the details (screenshotting the guy's details, so in case of an emergency we all know where they are headed and who they're going to meet). We also give each other a pep talk - the girl going on the date will send a pic of her outfit and we'll give her the thumbs-up.
If you've followed the above steps you can be confident in knowing that you've done all you can to have a fun-filled safe night.
Yes, personal hygiene is 100 percent necessary – you want to be feeling fresh as a peppermint when you arrive at your destination.
Grooming is a must; you don't want to get caught out feeling like a Yeti.
Sexy underwear doesn't have to be a frilly, lace, G-string. Pick something that YOU feel looks hot and are confident that YOU can rock.
Being prepared with your own Moments condoms is much smarter and safer than being caught out in the moment – Future You will thank you.
And now, it's time to relax. Look at yourself in the mirror and be confident that you are one sexy, smart and sassy lady who is in total control of her own life and personal health.
Do you have any rituals or tips before having sex? Ladies, we're in a safe space so feel free to share in the comments below.
This content was created with thanks to our brand partner Moments Condoms.
Want more sex advice? View all of our Sealed Section content and listen to our new Sealed Section podcast for all the questions you want to ask about sex, but are too afraid to ask your girlfriends...
Moments Condoms is empowering women to be in control of their sexuality and sexual health. We want to de-stigmatise the purchase of condoms for women, making you comfortable purchasing condoms, carrying them in your purse and insisting that if it’s not on, it’s not on.
We are committed to donating to organisations that promote women’s health and equality. We make buying condoms as easy and carefree as possible. Our full range is available online and with just a few clicks it’s delivered directly to your door in plain and discreet packaging (win, win!).