TheSex and The Citystars are having a bit of a tiff. (This is something a tabloid would refer to as a ‘cat fight’ because, as we all know, the one half of the population that was born with fallopian tubes were put on Earth to: 1. Make babies and 2. Fight with other fallopian tube owners who make babies. You see, women argue because of their periods and hormones and stuff. Women are also the direct descendants of felines. It’s science. Google it.)

For anyone who missed this important earth-shattering news, let me explain what’s happened. In dot points.

But wait.

I could have prevented this fiasco with something that 99 per cent of the people involved have missed. The truth is, this whole damn thing could have been squashed before it got so messy. And not at dot point seven… or five… or three. Earlier than that.

Let’s take a wee look at dot point 1, shall we?

Wait.

Hold up.

No.

Stop.

A third Sex and The City movie?ABSOLUTELY NOBODY ON THIS PLANET OR IN THE STRATOSPHERE NEXT DOOR HAS EVER ASKED FOR THAT.

Listen: The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss the SATC fiasco. (Post continues…) You see, I was once a big SATC fan. Huge. My sister and I would buy the seasons one-by-one as we could afford them. And the episodes wereepic.Fresh and progressive and funny and surprising and edgier than anything else on television.

Then came the first movie. It was solid. Carrie wore a legitimate bird on her head at her doomed wedding. Charlotte pooed her pants in Mexico. Miranda’s husband cheated. I could look at Samantha’s glorious outfits all day long.

“What a brilliant ending to a marvellous series!” the fans said with a sigh of relief. We moved on with our lives.

Then – THEN – we were betrayed. By this:

Just a bit... um... inappropriate?

Yep.Sex and The Citybloody TWO. The trainwreck that was arguably offensive to Middle Eastern women and achieved a rating of 16/100 from film critics onRotten Tomatoes, basically destroying the story lines that were COMPLETED JUST FINE AFTER THE FIRST FILM.

While one film critic called the film "horrific", The New York Times' A. O. Scott wrote: "You may be shocked at just how much older you feel when the whole thing is over."

I would tell you what happened in those tragic two hours and seven minutes, but Idon't even remember.There was no storyline. There was no structure. There was just the sugary stuff - fashion and sex - smeared over a marshmallow of subtle racism and nothingness.

The fans walked away royally pissed off - annoyed that a brilliant show had been tainted by a terrible sequel. It will likely take us years to recover.

Sothank the lordSATC 3 will not be created.

When I remember SATC, we want to think of the good times: Carrie's naked dress. The time Aidan and Big got into a brawl at the country shack. Charlotte putting a row of stamps around her cardiologist husband's penis. Miranda falling pregnant to Steve but still having sex with a bunch of other dudes.

Sometimes - wait, no, always - good things are better left to stand as they are.

You can listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud below: