Gerberas are awful. And the thought doesn’t always count…
Everyone knows scoring a huge bunch of David Austin roses on Valentine’s Day is code for: I love the shit out of you.
Just as they know that being sent the world’s most unpopular cheap flower, the gerbera, roughly translates to: You mean nothing to me. NOTHING.
And if you were hoping to get that (rather nasty) point across to an ex, or a current partner that you’d like to make your ex, now you can.
Send Your Ex Gerberas is allowing bitter types to send that (not so) special someone the “world’s ugliest flowers”, that they assure you, will “induce maximum embarrassment”. Similar to ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com, (where your unsuspecting nemesis would receive an envelope full of glitter “that they’ll be finding everywhere for weeks”) you can gift your ex a truly revolting bunch of flowers.
So how exactly does it work? You pay them $20, and they “find the grossest gerberas around, wrap them up in shiny silver wrap and the worst ribbon” and “send them to your ex in a huge, mostly empty box”.
Oh, and the delivery includes a note telling the lucky person that “It’s you, not me”.
Could there be anything more humiliating than your colleagues excitedly gathering around your huge delivery only to find out that you’d not only been dumped, you’d been sent gerberas? The horror. The shame.
Look, we feel a little sorry for gerberas (their glory days came and went with the Spice Girls), but Send Your Ex Gerberas puts forward a very convincing argument:
“Gerberas suck. They are the downer of every flower arrangement. If a sloth drew a flower with an upside down crayon you’d have something that was almost as fugly,” their website reads.
“Gerberas are right up there with bandaids in pools, King Joffrey and Prince Phillip being knighted.”
Who knew revenge was a dish best served with ugly flowers…