I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey – the erotic story of the submissive/dominant relationship that is currently on the bookshelves and kindles of hundreds of thousands of women. But I do know about submissive sex.
I am a ”strong” woman! I am a mother, employed and putting myself through university. I work in a challenging environment and I would see myself as an independent, confident, positive, resilient women.
But like Anastasia in the book I have become a submissive woman; it is who I am and who I want to be. For me this is no fantasy, but a wonderful reality.
I’ve known this part of me for a few years. Through much exploration and reading I realised a few things about myself. I realised that I was unfulfilled emotionally and sexually. I knew that I could be turned on and reach orgasm but there was always something else there. It was through some internet searching and some wonderfully positive blogs that I found the world of BDSM and the role of submissive.
I think I need to make something clear. I AM A FEMINIST! I believe in liberation of the self and the freedom that removing social and institutional control will bring. I believe that there should be no social barriers to a woman achieving what she wants. I want a world without a sexist undertone and a world where we can all feel equal not just be told that we are. For me the relationship that I am in now allows me to strive for all of this. Defined from the beginning as a D/s (dominant and submissive) relationship yet as normal as anyone else’s. We have had every awkward moment that new relationships has and then some. We connect on a level that goes deeper than sex. I find his mind and attitude sexy and he says similar things about me. He makes me think about the world in a way that I’d never considered before and if I’m going to be really honest he just turns me on.
I have not been seduced into anything, as it seems the character in this book has been. I have not been coerced or manipulated into it. We have created this relationship on a foundation of equality. As in the definition of our relationship doesn’t make me any less of a person than him.