This story includes references to pregnancy loss that may be distressing to some readers.
I am in the baby-making season of life and I love hearing stories about conception, IVF, health, and birth stories.
Listening to my favourite birth podcast recently, the host mentioned at the start of the episode that part of the birth story included a miscarriage but they had chosen to edit it out of the episode.
It felt well-intentioned. They didn’t want to detract from the joy of such a positive birth story because of the previous sadness. Maybe they would share it in a separate episode later.
I wish I could neatly edit the ongoing pain I feel out of my miscarriage story.
Watch: A tribute to the babies we have lost. Post continues below.
My heart hurt hearing those words. Fair enough, they wanted to save us from the sadness, to tuck it away for a time when sadness was allowed. The episode was only about joy.
The cosmic misalignment of joy and grief could be avoided with the power of podcast editing. It felt all too easy to take the miscarriage part of the story away.
But I wanted to hear it. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone. That a miscarriage was part of the story and that if she had a happy ending, maybe I would too.
Yes, I’m making this all about me; it’s my story now.