Clearly, Australia needs a distraction right now.
Because here we all are, knee-deep in the business of a bunch of worryingly sunburned, perpetually tipsy people we've never met. Yes, it's Bachelor in Paradise season, and yes, we're doing this to ourselves... again.
Watch: Renee walks into Paradise...
This year, we're over-investing in the situation between Ciarran and Renee. I'd give you a full rundown on the drama, but my far-more dedicated colleague already did that here. Take a moment to read that and come back to me.
Caught up? Cool.
So now you know that this strangely convoluted situation centres around the fact that Ciarran allegedly ditched the 2019 season of The Bachelorette (and by extension, its star Angie Kent) to be with 2019 Bachelor contestant, Renee, whom he'd been dating on and off prior.
Well, that's what Renee alleged on Bachelor in Paradise anyway.
Bachelorette viewers, of course, had been shown entirely different story. Ciarran's exit from the show was a tearful, reluctant one brought on by the tragic passing of his grandmother. And in the wake of Renee's claims, he has vehemently maintained that to be the truth. He even posted pictures of the order of service from her funeral in an effort to silence speculation.
Now, a bloke called Jarrod Woodgate who appeared on the last season of Bachelor in Paradise, and his partner, Sam Royce, have thrown another log on this garbage fire of a reality TV scandal.