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"Redfoo, you are not the victim here. Anyone who has heard your creepy song is the victim here."

The song is called Literally I Can’t.

As in, Literally I Can’t wait to turn it off. Or, Literally I Can’t believe this pile of offensive, misogynistic awfulness exists.

Disclaimer: what you are about to watch will probably ruin your day, your ears, maybe your life. It is repetitive; it may get stuck in your head. If you start humming it, we hold no responsibility for not wanting to be friends with you any more. No, not even on Facebook.

Here are the three reasons why this song should not exist. At all.

1. The lyrics are APPALLING.

First, a little context. It won’t take long, because the concept is such a pile of crap that it requires no thought at all. There’s a douchey party, attended by some douchey guys, of the kind of douche level that is frankly an embarrassment to God/The Big Bang/whatever biological genius created human life. Among these guys are Redfoo, Lil Jon and Enertia McFly (no idea, but it sounds disease-spreading). In come some girls who, obviously, do not want to waste a second of their lives being in the company of these grot-bags, let alone, a) doing tequila shots with them, b) doing girl-on-girl action in front of them. The women should leave, but instead they say, ‘Literally I can’t’ on repeat. Sure, it’s annoying, but look at what they’re dealing with. Redfoo – who we must point out is a 39-year-old grown man – responds with the following:

“You got a big ol’ butt, I can tell by the way you walkin’. But you an annoying BEEP, Cos you talkin, ugh.”

Where to start?

redfoo2

2. The men who like this song are going to be APPALLING.

Obviously, the majority of men are going to be of the same opinion as us – that it’s a pile of utter crap. (Reiterated just in case you hadn’t fully grasped our stance yet. I know we’re subtle). But for some guys, this is going to be their new night-out anthem. The hymn of douche-ness, sung by douches, who will behave like douches and try to get women’s attention by using another of the song’s Grammy-worthy lyrics, “SHUT THE F**K UP!”.  Julien Blanc probably has it on repeat.

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Proof of this? Radio DJ Kyle Sandilands has already defended the song, as has Redfoo himself, claiming any negative reaction is simply due to him being victimised as an artist.

We’d argue that Redfoo is not the victim here. Especially since he is a “mentor” on the very mainstream, prime-time The X Factor.

xfactpr

Which is partly why the awfulness of this song has blown up quite so big on social media today:

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3. The song itself is completely, utterly APPALLING.

Some may see this song as the most offensively awful thing ever to be played on planet Earth; others may see it as satire. The main thing to remember in all of this, whichever way your stance goes, is that the song is just terrible. Yes, we know music is subjective. But even subjectivity has its limits: this song is crap.

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