real life

Crowd-sourced: 11 depressing and fascinating reasons marriages fail within a year.

So. Intriguing. We can’t look away.

Hollywood divorces are known for failing. “Give ’em a year. Two, tops,” we all say once a celebrity gets hitched. And then none of us are surprised when their marriages fail.

But when it doesn’t happen to celebrities – when it’s our friends who are getting married and then un-married (definitely not a word) as quickly as Kim Kardashian, it comes as a shock.

A Reddit thread has put a call out for stories of marriages that lasted less than a year. And the hundreds of anecdotes that came back from real people, are equal parts horrifying, depressing and bittersweet.

The most famous short marriage of all time. Kim and Kris.

If there’s ever an excuse needed for reasons not to get married, use this thread as your ammo.

Warning: If you’re engaged, the following reasons might cause you to throw your ring in your lying fiance’s face.

The 8 reasons marriages fail.

1. He knew it wasn’t right on the honeymoon.

“I know a guy who got married and then asked for a divorce 2 weeks later. I don’t know how long they dated but I asked him when he KNEW the marriage wasn’t going to work out. He said he knew the first night of the honeymoon. Thats all the details he would give but she must have left an impression on him.”

2. He tried cocaine and spiraled out of control.

My ex husband and I had been best friends for 7 years. According to everyone we were soulmates. Well we were madly in love and finally started dating, then moved in together, and after a year or so said our I dos. One month after we were married he went out drinking with some friends. He tried some cocaine…and that was it. He became a severe alcoholic and drug addict. He drained our accounts, stole every penny, destroyed our house, violently threatened me, and finally disappeared. ..then he overdosed and spent months in rehab only to continue his habit the minute he got out. This sounds like a white trash love story right? He was actually from a wealthy, upper class family, was endlessly kind and loyal to us, very well educated. It was a complete shock to all of us with this behavior. He is still a junkie to this day. We were only married 8 months from I do to divorce day in court. It still breaks my heart to this day.

“He tried some cocaine…and that was it. He became a severe alcoholic and drug addict.”

3. He got over her addiction, but hers became worse.

Had gaming addiction, met girl, proposed to girl, girl got addiction, got out of my own addiction, tried to help girl out of addiction, broke up with her.

4. She found out about the affair… on their honeymoon.

I went to school with someone who found out on the honeymoon her new husband had been having a long term affair. She was surprisingly cool with everything and never seemed upset. She even said she was happy she found out then rather than 5 years down the line or when they had children.

“Had gaming addiction, met girl, proposed to girl, girl got addiction”

5. His mental illness made him abusive.

Guilty. I had been with him for nearly 6 years. We had some rocky times but really loved each other. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and struggled with alcohol use. We were in college though so it was easy to write off the alcohol abuse. Once we were married and moved away from college, it became quickly apparent that his problem was much worse than the average heavy drinker. Some gambling debt started to become an issue and we were fighting all the time. Part of the problem was that I don’t know how to help someone with addictive behavior. I don’t understand it, but I didnt want to be the kind of wife who left her mentally ill husband. Then one night I took his keys when he came home drunk. He backed me into a wall and said “do you want to make this a domestic situation”. That was the trigger for me to end it. I said to myself, “is this really the life you want”. That was a sentence I should have said before we got married. It lasted 6 months. His mother blamed me for going back on my vows. Maybe she was right. I did go back on them, but I realized in the moment he threatened me that I didn’t love him anymore. I was 24 and miserable. So I kicked him out. I’ve been with my current SO for 5 years on friday and couldn’t be happier with my decision. Life is good.

6. The bizarre addictions he failed to mention.

A friend of mine from university got divorced after 3 months because of her husband’s addictions that he failed to mention – cocaine and finding gay men for sex on Craigslist. I say that the second was an addiction because he was picking up like three dudes a week on average.

“He was picking up like three dudes a week on average.”

7. The most depressing two sentences you’ll ever read.

She started loving someone else. Worst 90 days of my life.

8. He was emotionally abusive.

Not me but a friend. She started dating a guy we had not seen before and wasn’t really the type of guy she used to date, some 7-10 years older, she was like 25 by that time.
Everything was fine, posting stuff on FB of how great the relationship is, then some 6 months later he proposed, which was weird by the timing. She wasn’t pregnant, they just wanted to get married.
Wedding and everything went fine. FB posts continued to be “this is great” stuff. The guy suddenly didn’t wanted her to work again, she was fine with that but then it became a “don’t hang out with friends” which included us (50/50 men-women all in a relationship), and progressed to a “don’t get out of the house without telling me” thing. FB posts stopped.
She got divorced 7-8m after the wedding, she told us that by the end of the marriage the guy just came home and asked if she wanted to have sex and eat the dinner. If there wasn’t sex, he’ll go out to “party” or something.

“It became a ‘don’t hang out with friends’ thing and progressed to a ‘don’t get out of the house without telling me’ thing.”

9. She got dumped for their marriage counselor.

Not me, but my mother got divorced 6 months after her first marriage. They were having problems, went to a marriage counselor who (shit you not) told my mom that her husband needed one on one counseling but that my mom was fine and could go home. After their divorce finalized, another wedding with the marriage counselor was in the works.

10. He thought he owned her.

My ex-husband thought that our marriage certificate gave him license to treat me like property and do whatever he wanted, blatantly disregarding my feelings, because I was “stuck” with him. Wrong.

“After their divorce finalized, another wedding with the marriage counselor was in the works.”

11. This is just down-right terrifying.

I was acquaintances with this chick from high school who invited me to her bachelorette party. I was surprised she invited me because I had met her fiancé once… we were never that close, me being a nerdy introvert, she and her group of friends being ‘woo!’ party girls. At the bachelorette everybody was getting smashed and the bride-to-be seemed to be having the time of her life. At one point, all the other girls hit the dance floor and the bride-to-be and I were sitting alone at the table. A serious look comes over her face… she turns to me, looks me dead in the eye and says “do you think if I disappeared tonight, Steve (her groom’s name) would hunt me down and kill me”? I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a second before she quickly said “nevermind”, jumped up and started dancing with her friends. She did marry him. They were divorced in less than 3 months and she moved across the country.

Have you been married? Do you think marriages are more likely to fail soon or late?

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