Penises are weird and that is a fact.
If you’ve ever come into contact with a human penis, you’ll have noticed that it’s unnecessarily aggressive and looks more like a mushroom than anyone ever warned you. Testicles are also confronting but that’s a topic for later.
Most of the time we’re fine with penises and their surrounding… environment. Genitals aren’t meant to be beautiful and frankly, the majority of us are far more concerned with what a penis can do than what it looks like. But when you learn why a penis looks the way it does, suddenly nothing is okay. At all.
In his book Why Is The Penis Shaped Like That and Other Reflections on Being Human, psychologist and associate professor Jesse Bering cites the work of evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup, who theorised that the human penis really is a ‘tool’ that’s been manufactured over hundreds of thousands of years.
He argues that objectively, there are significant differences between the human penis and the penises of other species. Most notably, the human penis is especially large, and has “a distinctive mushroom-capped glans” that forms a coronal ridge underneath.
Here’s a diagram I made from scratch:
After a great deal of research, including magnetic imaging studies of heterosexual men and women having sex (which seems kinda... private, but okay), Gallup and his colleague Rebecca Burch concluded the following:
"A longer penis would not only have been an advantage for leaving semen in a less accessible part of the vagina, but by filling and expanding the vagina it also would aid and abet the displacement of semen left by other males as a means of maximizing the likelihood of paternity." - Journal of Evolutionary Psychology.