'Meet our village.' The 2 families who have chosen to live under one roof.

On any given night, entrepreneur and One Roof founder Sheree Rubinstein could be cooking for 10 people – at least. 

Because aside from her and her partner Rod, there is their two-and-a-half year old daughter Goldie and three-month-old baby, Ace. 

... And Rod’s brother, Elliot – and his wife Vanessa, and their three children – from 18 months old to eight years old.

And there could be any of the children’s grandparents or extended family or friends at their table too. 

“We never know who will turn up. It’s an open-door policy – and that’s how we like it.”

Indeed, it’s an outlook that saw the two families come together to live under one roof in 2022. By choice.

After giving birth one week into the first of Melbourne’s long lockdowns in 2020, Sheree and Rod decided to head north – first to Sheree’s mum’s apartment on the Gold Coast (via quarantine in Darwin), before settling in the Byron Shire.  

There they stayed, sitting out the two years of harsh lockdowns and running their businesses remotely.

Then Sheree fell pregnant again. 

It was time to go home, back to their family and friends in Melbourne. 

Parenting 101. Article continues after video. 

Meanwhile, Elliot and Vanessa had just moved into a new home. 

“It just started as a joke,” says Sheree. “It was like, ‘You’ve got an extra bedroom, we could just move in! It’d be fun,'" she laughs.

While the two couples had always gotten along really well – sharing lingering weekends at a family holiday home on the Victorian coast – the longest period spent together was a mere four days. 

But they did it anyway. 

“What’s the plan though?” 

It was the persistent question posed to the couple, as the weeks closed in on Sheree’s due date. 

She and Rod contemplated whether they should leave, but truthfully, they didn’t want to; they were happy. 

Then Elliot and Vanessa told them they didn’t want them to leave either. 

So together, they all remained. 

And soon, eight people became nine. 

The newborn stage. 

Just before Sheree reached full term, Vanessa offered to take her children and Elliot away for a few weeks – it was school holidays soon anyway, and wouldn’t they want their own space? 

“No. It was the opposite,” says Sheree, 35. 

“I knew I didn’t need my own space, and when we returned from the hospital after he was born, I was so happy to have them there.”

It’s about knowing yourself, she affirms.

“If I was by myself at home, feeding a newborn, I just couldn’t. I know a lot of people need that, but I don’t. I’m very happy to trade in my privacy and alone time for support; for time to have a shower, or go to the toilet on my own, or run out for a coffee for 20 minutes on my own.” 

“It’s been amazing. There are just extra hands for help, and I’m so grateful.”

But how does it *actually* work?

“It just does somehow,” assures Sheree.

“Everyone has their different part of the house that they enjoy managing.”

Vanessa loves gardening and tending to the vegetable patch. Rod and Sheree enjoy cooking. Elliot is the ‘project manager’, overseeing any home maintenance. 

“Everybody has their thing that they’ve gravitated towards – their strengths – and the house just flows in that way; in a beautiful chaos.”

There weren’t any rules or boundaries set out when the household almost doubled, and planning is fluid. “We just have to keep having conversations between all of us. Like, what’s the best approach for right now”.

There is a WhatsApp group for grocery shopping, and often Vanessa will organise Click and Collect, or she and Sheree will head to a weekend market. 

As for meal planning, Sheree adopts a practical and easygoing approach. 

“I like to plan out maybe three days – that’s usually all my brain can handle.”

The repertoire includes her tried-and-true dishes, the go-tos: risottos, stir-fries and pastas. And always extra quantities – “because we know there will often be others around too”.

As for the other four nights of dinners, it’s a bit “whatever”. Leftovers from the fridge or freezer, a little takeaway. Often Sheree or Rod’s parents join, their mums armed with dishes to share.

“At 5pm each day, you literally don’t know who is going to drop in for dinner. It is the funniest time, and obviously chaos with the children. But I love it. It’s beautiful.”

Sheree (far right) with family. Image: Supplied. 

“There’s always food on the table,” says Sheree reflecting on the lasting influence of her grandmother, a warm Jewish woman who took pride offering a generous abundance of food to loved ones.

“Everyone was always welcome. It was all about food, family and being hospitable.”

And that’s what it’s about today for the fused family.

Even though there is a large formal dining table, they often find themselves crammed around a circular table with all the highchairs. More relaxed. Together. 

But food is fair game, warns Sheree. And don’t bother with a secret stash of chocolate – “I tried that, but the kids still found it,” she says in defeat.

The logistics. 

It’s about pitching together, too.

Sheree – a self-confessed “total coffee snob” – will take advantage of the early morning window of time between re-settling baby Ace, and Goldie awakening, dashing off to her favourite cafe in search of fresh brew for herself and Vanessa. 

Elliot is on the morning drop-off duty and takes both his youngest son and Goldie to daycare. 

As for the laundry? There’s no dividing who owns what. It all goes in together, by whoever gets to it first.

The babysitter blessing.

In 2022, Sheree’s business One Roof (one of Australia’s largest digital membership communities for women and non-binary leaders and entrepreneurs) held its first large scale in-person event since the pandemic.

By 5pm, she had to be at the venue. 

“Ace stayed at home with Rod. I’d pumped enough milk so he could do the feed. My brother helped to look after Goldie. And people asked me, ‘How are you able to be here without your three-month-old?'

“That’s how. It’s our village. We’re so lucky. I really don’t know how working women can function without this support.”

As for bedtimes, Sheree says they’ve worked out an order of putting the children to bed that flows, “and on weekends, if we put them to bed in that order – it means we typically can have just one babysitter oversee the kids”. 

The babysitter is often a family member too. Or if it’s just one couple going out, the other couple will look after all the children. 

More peace of mind – and less expense too. 

Sheree speaks at the One Roof event. Image: Supplied. 

Working through ‘chaos and noise’.

Sheree and Rod both have a home set-up from where they run their start-ups. Elliot and Rod are business partners too, so they also work together from home. 

“We are all entrepreneurial and so we are able to support each other in parenting, business and domestic needs.”

Even though it adds another dimension to the chaos and noise, it’s not a foreign idea for Sheree. Growing up, her parents also ran their business from the dining table. 

“There were staff members working in the house, and meetings in bedrooms, and as a teen, I studied amongst the noise. I need noise in order to concentrate!”

“But that’s where I thrive the most,” says Sheree, grateful to physically be with her newborn while working at the same time.

And it hasn’t stopped her from still – somehow – achieving.

In September 2022, Sheree was named an AusMumpreneur finalist in three categories; Women’s Champion, Business Pivot and Online Communities, and was awarded Silver in the Online Communities category.

Learning to ‘let go’.

While many may expect the financial aspect (that is, who pays for what) to be a potential sticking point amongst families living together, much like the household chores, Sheree says that “everyone chips in”.

“It’s not overly structured. Overall, we contribute a lot to food and things for the house, knowing that we’re in their space. So, things level out fairly well. We’re all contributing.”

In fact, there really haven’t been any challenges, she says – except perhaps the pressure of self-expectation.

“There are moments where I sometimes feel overwhelmed. I create this standard of wanting to cook for everyone, and organise things, and then do the laundry, and then be with the kids, and then work, but that’s on me; no one is expecting anything.”

“I know for me, I just need to push back on my own expectations that I’m setting for myself and say, no one cares. No one cares if you I do the laundry right now, or if you clean the kitchen tonight or in the morning, or if dinner is fancy. 

“We tend to feel these pressures – particularly as women – and we’ve got to just let it go.”

Abandoning internal expectation filters through to the external too. 

“And if you want things done a certain way; beyond being able to communicate what you want, if it’s not going your way, you’ve got to also just let it go. Really knowing what’s important, and lowering your standards and accepting that not everything has to be ‘perfect’ is actually pretty freeing.”

From left: Elliot, Rod, Sheree's mother-in-law, Vanessa and Sheree with their children. Image: Supplied. 

‘The cousins are like siblings.’

People still keep asking Sheree when they are planning to move out. 

Her answer: Not anytime soon. 

She explains, one of the most beautiful parts of the experience is seeing the close bonds that are being formed between the children.

“Instead of cousins, they are more like siblings. They actually want to be with each other.” 

As do the adults. In fact, they are currently planning a holiday – all 9 of them. 

“We are living and breathing the idea that it takes a village – to raise children and businesses.”

“When you live together, there is no hiding. You see each other at your most raw and vulnerable. Your best and worst. Yes, it’s madness, but I’ve embraced it – and I love it.”

Keen to read more from Rebecca Davis? You can find her articles here, or follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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