The most harmful things are usually the ones that we cannot see with our naked eye.
I was in my early 20s when I entered into a romance with a man that would attempt to break me down to absolutely nothing. Not only did I leave the relationship with the trauma that I would deal with for the rest of my life, but I had no idea what to call what I was feeling.
This is the case with psychological or emotional abuse. There may be no physical scars to be seen with the naked eye, but the damage is vast and deep.
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I left that relationship with a head and heart that was bruised, battered, and broken.
I want to share the signs that you may be in a relationship that is psychologically abusive based on my experience and how I changed.
1. You went from confident to insecure.
Growing up I was incredibly insecure. Over the years I cultivated my own strength and was in a great place.
That is until I entered a relationship that involved devaluation, gaslighting, and invalidation.
Slowly all of my flaws seemed to be coming out. If I cooked dinner for my ex he would hiss that I was terrible at cooking. When we went out he would stare at other women in a way that made me feel like he was longing to be with anyone else.
How could I feel confident when the person I was with constantly put me down every single chance that he had?
However, I want to remind you that the put-downs and ways that my ex caused me to feel insecure didn't happen overnight. It was much later in our relationship when we were already serious and I thought that he was the man I was going to marry.
2. You no longer trust yourself.
If you are in a relationship where you struggle to trust yourself due to your partner making you feel 'crazy' then you are most likely being psychologically abused.
"In your constant efforts to tiptoe around someone else's moods, in the hope of avoiding blow-ups, put-downs, criticism, sighs of disapproval, or cold shoulders, you constantly edit what you say and do. You second-guess your own judgement, your own ideas, and your own preferences. You begin to question whether the way you think is valid and right." - Psychology Today.