User Comments

katp September 27, 2022

@laura__palmer TMI. Wish I could unsee this.

katp September 27, 2022

@mamamia-user-482898552 i am tempted to say I think it was time pretty well spent 25 years ago, but I guess I am happily and contentedly behind the times and surrounded by others similarly so.

I can imagine there is some satisfaction but so hard to believe it compares in any way, shape or form.

katp September 23, 2022

@hellb I agree. I would never rip my daughter off like this woman is promoting we do. Orgasm is a learned response and ideally you learn with a loving partner.

katp September 23, 2022

@nikim it was a surrogate I thought?

katp September 23, 2022

Sounds like "you should" quit googling for a bit. 20 years ago our awareness of 90% of the stuff you mentioned was non-existent, and as it was also stuff that can't actually be changed you may as well enjoy not worrying about it.

katp September 22, 2022

@millie1986 The British were the first to use concentration camps during the Boer War. 

What is ridiculously mistaken is the idea that anything experienced in Australia has not happened a hundred times elsewhere or the idea that any country or people group are free from this kind of historical greed and wrongdoing. 

katp September 20, 2022

@zaky how on earth does removing the monarchy from Australia remove those aspects of politics from our country?

katp September 12, 2022

I expect nothing of Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg etc but appreciate that they manage to be famous and powerful without stripping off. I wish more women could emulate that.

Putting others first is strength. So much easier to centre ourselves.

katp September 11, 2022

@laura__palmer I envy your ability to get comments through moderation 

katp September 10, 2022

@laura__palmer I'll let the OP speak for herself. 

By beyond gender I put myself as firmly as you can possibly imagine into the camp of viewing each human as an individual without resorting to stereotypes or feelings. I would never use that kind of hashtag but am perfectly fine with others doing so and feel no need to read anything into it other than facts.

katp September 8, 2022

@cat probably because of the context it is stated in. So in this example, the OP has been asked why having a son (as opposed to a daughter) is part of her identity, in spite of never having mentioned her identity but merely saying she happily uses the hashtag. I noted that rather than a presumed identity perhaps #boymum is a statement of fact. I also pointed out that gender (whether acknowledged, perceived or fluid) is extremely important to many people these days so surely it's allowable that this is important to parents too.

My personal comment was that I'd love to be beyond gender. 

katp September 8, 2022

@cat or perhaps simply a statement of fact. We are constantly surrounded by many such.

katp September 8, 2022

@laura__palmer each to their own. Vive la difference. Most feelings around gender are seen to be quite important. I don't see why we'd discount the importance of gender to parents.

katp September 7, 2022

@mystal84 no we haven't. That driver broke multiple laws. 

katp September 7, 2022

@laura__palmer probably because she is the mum of a boy. 

katp September 6, 2022


katp August 31, 2022

@mb1111 fully developed pre-frontal cortex? Or is it men who take til they're 25?

katp August 19, 2022

@cat wrote long answer but can't get it through moderation although I didn't think it was rude, slanderous or a personal attack. Sorry

I don't think I could 100% embrace bio determinism. I do think that having chromosomal make up stamped on every single cell in our body could have more than a reproductive function.

katp August 17, 2022

@cat there is an established but not exclusive causal link between parent attachment and teen mental health. Attachment is formative in the early years of a child's life and while not immutable it is difficult to change. Attachment is strongly correlated to parent-child quantity time and this is behind the parenting policy stances in many countries in Europe. Now of course parents who work are capable of giving their children time and attention and of course mothers who stay home full time can induce anxiety in their kids by helicopter-type hovering. Humans are beautifully different and there is no certain way to get a particular result. You I can't flip a switch and get the outcome you want. I just know that it should be a darn sight easier than it is to be home some of the time with kids who are of school age and I think it is good for them. Maybe not good for us, but good for them.

I am not judging anyone or absolving anyone. We know ourselves and we know our families. We know how much our mortgages are and what we can cope with and not collapse. It's no one else's business how we make career choices. I look around me each day and the vast majority of parents are doing their absolute best for their kids in every way. I also look around me and see the enormous burden on parents who bear the weight of a child with anxiety and depression. This is exacerbated in the case of kids who are on every teacher's watchlist - we all need to know who these kids are just in case they harm themselves. Unsurprisingly a lot of these parents need to give up work to care for their children full time, taking them to appointments, doing the hard yards to get them out of bed. Meeting with teachers and administrators, watching them when they are home. If this were my child I am pretty sure I would carefully reflect on my major parenting decisions and consider whether I'd do anything differently. 

katp August 14, 2022


once again. I never said working mothers should be held accountable. I never blamed them or said it was their fault. What I said was that we should consider that when both parents work it may be a contributing factor to mental health and cited the logic of Nordic countries in extending paid parental leave over a number of years. First this was out of gender equity concerns but then was further extended for reasons of child well-being given their findings.

I then pointed out that it certainly has an impact on the mother's mental health to either stay home or to work and asked you whether it might also be possible that other family members might be affected by who is around/ not around.

I have agreed with you that parents spend far more intentional time with their kids than previous generations. I disagree that more intentional time automatically means more access to parents. You can't access a parent if they are not there.