There are two types of women: poodles and wolves.
I’m a poodle and I don’t say this to brag. It’s a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
Comparing women to dogs, you exclaim. That sounds like something Donald Trump would do. And, in fact, has done. He’s probably doing it somewhere on the campaign trail right now.
But this is different. This poodle/wolf categorisation of women is something feminist Jessi Klein came up with and it’s many shades of interesting.
Klein is the head writer and producer of Inside Amy Schumer but before that she was a stand-up comedian and writer for Saturday Night Live. Early one morning, at about 2a.m. after a long writing session, Klein and her co-worker Emily were walking past a set in the Saturday Night Live office and glanced up to see Angelina Jolie being interviewed by Larry King. She was…Angelina Jolie. Luminous. Resplendent. All the superlatives.
And they…were not. They were delirious with exhaustion but also just…not Angelina Jolie. Because who is, right?
As Klein writes in her brilliant memoir, You'll Grow Out of It, she and Emily gazed at the screen in wonder. Then Emily said, "Isn't it amazing that we're the same species she is? It doesn't even feel like we're the same species."
This is not an uncommon thought to have when you're looking at Angelina Jolie.
Klein added it was like the way poodles and wolves are both technically dogs but on the face of it (and in every way, TBH), really don't seem to share any kind of common ancestor.
That's when Klein decided that some women are poodles and some are wolves (for the record, she's "always clearly been a wolf"). Here's how you can tell the difference:
- Poodles are confident.
- Poodles are always late.
- Poodles laugh a lot!!!
- Poodles always wear matching bras and underwear.
- Poodles lose their virginity in high school.