Hello, Australian Police? I would like to report a crime. A true tragedy. A misdemeanour of epic un-Australian proportions.
You see, Pete Evans (the dude from My Kitchen Rules who implores babies to drink bone broth instead of milk) has ruined a food staple.
Yes. He’s destroying sausages in bread. I know, take some deep breaths.
We have the video evidence to prove it, but I need to warn you because this could be triggering to… well… anyone who has ever been to Bunnings.
Pete Evans wants us to put our sausages. And our hot dogs. In fu-juck-ing lettuce leaves.
I’ll let that sink in for a moment.
Let’s just… just…
NO, PETE. NO YOU CANNOT TOUCH OUR SAUSAGES AND OUR BREAD AND SEPARATE THEM WITH YOUR DARN PALEO HANDS WHICH HAVE PROBABLY BEEN NOURISHED BY THE OILS OF MOTHER EARTH. THEY ARE OUR SAUSAGES AND BREAD. WE NEED THEM LIKE WE NEED AIR, OKAY? WE NEED THEM LIKE WE NEED BLOODY AIR.
I'll be crying under my desk caressing a loaf of white bread if anyone needs me.