I posted the best picture on Instagram on the weekend.
God, I looked great. And my kid looked really, really cute. And we were in a beautiful location on Sydney Harbour.
Basically, I was #winning at life, and decided to show it off.
Here’s the proof, people:
Except, it’s a big lie.
That photo bears absolutely zero resemblance to the reality of what was going on when that picture was taken. In reality, my partner and I were sniping at each other, my son was throwing the most enormous tantrum of all time and we were all hot, exhausted and being stared at by strangers.
#winning, indeed. I think, actually, it was a Fail.
It was a public holiday and in Sydney, it was 35 degrees. We had a genius idea: Let’s go to to the harbour and check out Barangaroo, the new headland park that has been four years in the making. The new jewel in our home town crown.
Barangaroo is beautiful. Thoughtfully landscaped by a outdoor architect of considerable note, it is going to be a wonderful public space for Sydneysiders, boasting the most incredible views of our stunning harbour, etc, etc. But on a stinking hot Monday morning, it is no place for little people.
The kids: “It’s hot. It’s too hot”. On repeat, at an escalating decibel.
“I want an ice cream. I WANT AN ICE CREAM.” On repeat, at an escalating decibel.
“I need more water. COLD WATER.” On repeat, at an escalating decibel.
“I’m bored. I’M BORED.” On repeat, at an escalating decibel.
“There’s a boat. Hello boat. WHY
AREN’T WE ON A BOAT??” Every time a boat went by (which was often, this being a harbour).
There are no ice-cream shops at Barangaroo. There aren’t any water bubblers (yet). There’s no play equipment. There’s just us, making our own Family Fun, rapidly running out of water and snacks as we try to make rock-hopping more enjoyable than it actually is in 30+ degree heat.
And then, at the furthest point from our
only means of escape car the kids decided to refuse to walk any further. First one, and then the other, just sat down on the footpath and yelled. Loudly.
Passers-by stared. Stress levels rose. Swearwords were whispered. Low-level threats were delivered.